Zim the Homicidal Irken
by Lizzy733
Summary: If you want to know what the show Invader Zim would be like if Zim was a bit more like Johnny... ..... I FINISHED it.... >8}
1. Staring it of with the Nightmare Begins ...

ZIM the Homicidal Irken  
  
. How this happened, I have no Idea. Well I sort of do. It all started when I got this idea for a drawing, but that ended up being a complete bust. I started drawing Zim. I got the face. then added some Nny-ish squinting eyes. Then I thought what the hell. I made the antennae resemble Nny's 'outta hell' haircut and went from there. No stopping me now. I started formulating a story in my twisted little head and this was the end result. (SpOOky) Well, just thought I'd share. and so not to piss off the almighty Jhonen, I'd like to say that he owns these concepts. not me. (just to note.. I will not be posting the pic that started all this for lack of scanner. sorry) (words in ' are thoughts by the way)  
  
And here we start our story. 1. The Nightmare Begins  
  
'I wish I didn't know 'why' I was here. It would make things a lot easier for me, but I remember. oh yes. I remember. The one thing I don't remember is how it all started, the killings. I'm short, which really isn't a good thing seeing as my insipid race likes to look down upon those that they can. well. look down on. They're all a bunch of holes. It seems they can't find any amusement in their pointless existence other than the constant torture and humiliation of their own kind. This makes me an easy target for them. Well, I guess I just got sick of being target practice, so I decided to 'punish' them for all the pain and suffering they cause me. Fook, I tried to take out my so called leaders because they, in particular, were very fond of hurting me, but I got caught. And now I sit here rotting away in one of their dank cells like some prisoner in their 'war'.'  
  
Zim sat in the darkness of his solitary confinement cell. The straightjacket they had put on him was beginning to annoy and he kept hearing this constant wailing that seemed to be resonating from down the hall. At that moment, if he could, he would have made a dash out of that room to find the son of a bitch that was wailing and give him a real reason to scream, but his thoughts on this were interrupted by the door of his cell slowly being opened. There stood the two assholes Zim had wanted so desperately to kill. Of course he really couldn't do that now noting the fact that his hands were bound and that they had several of their guards with them.  
  
"What do you want?" Zim said callously.  
  
"Actually, we think we might have found some way you could be useful Zim." Said the red tallest.  
  
Zim gave them a skeptic look. They hadn't changed. he wondered why they played these games. It was really sadistic of them to pretend as they were so obviously doing.  
  
"Yes Zim, we're going to send you on a mission." The purple one said while almost making that bunny ears gesture, but his hands were promptly slapped by Red.  
  
Zim narrowed one eye. "What mission?" he said. He really wanted to believe that someone thought enough of him to actually put him in charge of something, although he knew otherwise.  
  
"Oh it's a very important mission." Purple said.  
  
"Really" Zim said in a tone that reflected how much he believed what they were saying. He really wished he could kill them right now.  
  
"Yes," Red piped in. "We are going to send you off to be an Invader. just occupy an enemy planet and kill whatever you find there. does that sound good?"  
  
Zim's expression stayed unfazed and the Tallest exchanged glances.  
  
"This planet has a never-ending supply of cherry fiz whiz." Red added in a flat tone.  
  
Zim's eyes lit up. "Cherry fiz whiz!" His once ill features had turned into those of an excited child. "I love those! When can I go?! When can I go?!" Zim was overjoyed.  
  
After more enthusiastic ravings over the cherry goodness, Zim was taken from his cell, still in his straight jacket, and into the nearest equipping station to get his supplies for the trip. Red and Purple had skipped out, leaving one of their guards to the task of giving Zim the stuff he would need. They really just didn't want to be around that maniac longer than they had to.  
  
He looked around the room, while trying to loosen his arms from the straight jacket. Zim glanced over at the guard as he called off the various items he was to receive. The guard was effectively startled when he looked up to see Zim, with the straight jacket folded and tucked under one arm, inspecting a box on the other side of the room. Inside the box was a little green puppy that had caught Zim's attention. He wasn't sure, but it was almost as if he could hear the dog saying 'take me home with you'.  
  
"S.sir?" the guard said. He was well aware of Zim's notorious mental state and was being careful of what he said and did around him.  
  
"Can I have the doggy? I want the doggy." Zim said turning to the guard.  
  
"Whatever you want." The guard said, afraid of what would happen if he denied the request.  
  
"C'mon doggy" Zim said as he picked up the animal. "You get to go home with me" he said, wondering where home really was. The puppy wagged its tail and stared up at Zim with the affection that only pet can show. 'I'm your friend' he heard in the back of his mind. He thought it was crazy to think that a dog could talk, but maybe it was a special doggy because it obviously could.  
  
"You can go now." The guard said motioning to the cruiser which had been packed with supplies.  
  
Zim grinned as he dashed over to it. "The fiz whiz awaits!"  
  
And with that, Zim was off for his mission. Little did he know that when he started the ship, it had been preprogrammed to send him to a particularly useless planet and then shut down, so he would be effectively stranded there with no way back.  
  
Zim found ways to amuse himself during the long trip. He found pencils and paper to be among the supplies and began to draw a comic character which he referred to as Crazy Robot Boy. He fed doggy once, and forgot to ever do it again. Doggy died, but Zim didn't seem to mind. On another rummage hunt through his stuff, he found a rubber pig and moose. He laughed to himself as he scrawled on them with a permanent marker, leaving the moose with spiral eyes and the word 'fuck' written across its side. He left the pig with dark circles around its eyes and wrote 'Z?' on it after marking it with several stripes. Zim found that there was a large supply of the Irken equivalent of spaghettios on the ship as well. This made for a yummy meal went he did eat.  
  
Zim was a little surprised when his pig and moose creations began to talk back to him. He had always talked to them, as well as with doggy, but this was the first time they ever spoke back.  
  
Zim sighed as he looked out the window of his cruiser. "I wonder when we'll get there." He said to his friends.  
  
"Is this trip ever going to end Zim?" Psycho Mooseboy said.  
  
"Yes, we need to get off this thing so you can start having fun." Mr. Pork added.  
  
Zim stood up and did a double blink. "I didn't know you could talk." Zim said pointing from the moose to the pig. Zim had never heard of talking rubber animals; he was beginning to doubt his sanity.  
  
"Well of course we can talk, there's nothing out of the ordinary about that." Mr. Pork said.  
  
"But why didn't you talk before?" Zim asked.  
  
"That's simple. We never had anything worth telling you." Mooseboy replied.  
  
"Oh, that makes sense." Zim said, realizing that was a perfectly logical explanation. "I hope we get there soon. I'm dying for a cherry fiz whiz." He sighed as he continued his gaze out the window.  
  
Zim's hopes finally came true as the cruiser neared a small blue planet. Zim was unaware of this as he had passed out from sleep depravation which he sometimes did. The cruiser broke into the atmosphere and sailed into the night over an earth neighborhood. Zim woke up with a start and nervously looked around. He didn't like it when he slept. Dreams always distorted reality and when he would finally wake up, he couldn't differentiate between the real world and the dream world. He thought it was all some cruel trick, but was soon brought out of his musings by censors going off in the cruiser.  
  
"We're here!" He squealed happily as the ship automatically landed rather conspicuously in between two houses. Zim cautiously stepped out of the ship and surveyed his attire. "I need a disguise if I don't want to be noticed." He said turning to the ship. He clicked a few buttons on the outer hull, activating the disguise generating machine. He stepped into the device and emerged wearing a pair of contact which made his eyes look like they were white with black pupils and a black wig of spiked hair.  
  
From inside the ship Mr. Pork rang out "Yay we're here! Now get settled in so we can celebrate by going out and killing something."  
  
Zim smirked as he went back in the craft to retrieve his friends, wondering if they would recognize him in his little disguise. A he entered, Psycho Mooseboy gave him an appraising look.  
  
"Well that certainly is a change." he said after his evaluation.  
  
Zim nodded in response as he collected the three and brought them back outside with him. He took out a device that was supposed to create their home and scribbled out a design on the sketch board that appeared. He then activated the device and set it on the ground. It came to life with the whirring of engines and dug itself into the ground. Zim was surprised at how quiet the device was, as it wasn't arousing anyone's attention. The house began to take form; it was a one story home with a slanted roof. A satellite receiver jutted out from one side of the roof and the two windows in front were boarded up. The house was numbered 777 and a solitary lawn gnome with 'keep off the loose soil' written across its chest could be seen to the right of the walkway which led up to the house. Doggy, Mr. Pork, Psycho Mooseboy and Zim all stared at their new home.  
  
"Neat." Mr. Pork exclaimed.  
  
"You think so Pork? At least nobody noticed it happening." Zim looked around. The street was still devoid of any activity. Perhaps the people of this planet just didn't care. He wondered if they were anything like his own race; surely they must be better. Zim hoped so as he entered his home.  
  
  
  
The interior was normal enough. There was a sofa, a television, and a desk which Zim thought would be perfect for drawing Crazy Robot Boy on. Zim ventured further into the house to find the kitchen. He curiously opened a drawer to find it full of knives; he could use those later. Upon opening a cabinet, he found it stocked full of the skettios from the cruiser. He didn't bother to wonder how they had gotten in there, and proceeded to inspect a door that he had noticed in the living room. Pork snickered to himself as Zim ventured down into the depths of the underground structure.  
  
He found that the stairs led to different levels under the house. The first level was filled with alien supplies, such as communications devices and monitoring systems. The other levels, Zim found to be quite amusing. They were strewn with rooms and corridors containing various machines and instruments of torture. (think slightly higher tech versions of Nny's crude devices) If there were any assholes on this planet, Zim knew exactly where they would end up. After admiring the lower levels, he returned to the first to see if there was anything in particular he needed to know about this planet; he was an invader after all.  
  
Zim somehow found his way onto the web and discovered some useful information. He discovered their currencies, and in order to ensure that he had some of this, he scanned and sold off one of his Crazy Robot Boy comics which he was ensured would be popular among the homeless insane. He also found out about skool, the place where young humans were sent to learn. This place actually seemed like a good idea to him at the time, so he registered himself with a local skool and found out that he would be starting there tomorrow.  
  
The next morning, a young human boy named Dib arose from a long night's sleep and readied himself to go to skool. Nothing seemed out of normal and he leisurely went about his morning routine. Dib opened the door to his house and stepped outside, ready to start his morning trek, until he noticed the odd building next door.  
  
"That wasn't there yesterday." He pondered aloud. "Houses don't just pop up like that. Something weird's going on here." He stared at the odd house for a minute longer before his sister emerged from his house. "Gaz!" He said, walking up to her.  
  
"Leave me alone Dib" was her response. She was playing her game slave and seemed not to be paying attention to him at all.  
  
"Don't you think there's something weird about that new house? I mean come on." Dib said as he walked alongside her.  
  
"I am almost to the vampire noodle Dib and if you mess me up I will make you regret that I was ever born." She said without looking up. Dib continued to stare at the house until they rounded a corner and it disappeared out of his site.  
  
Zim stepped outside of his house squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight. Some time during the night, Zim had ended up nailing doggy to the wall of the living room for some unknown reason. He was a little nervous about staying away from home for seven hours, but he was curious to learn about this place. He pondered as he walked to skool.  
  
Upon the completion of his journey, he looked at the building that was before him. Human children of varying sizes swarmed past him and into the building. 'They didn't seem too bad' he thought to himself as he entered the building. 'Yes, maybe this place is different.' Zim walked to the office and was instructed on which classroom he was to be in. As he walked towards the room, he heard a bell ringing and children made a mad dash for their classrooms. This made him a little nervous and he hoped there was no punishment involved for being late for an assignment. He made it to the door of his room as another bell rang. Zim secretly hoped it wouldn't be doing that all day. It was very annoying. He turned the knob on the door and entered quietly.  
  
The teacher, a tall, ferocious looking woman, glared at him for a moment before looking to the class to announce the new student.  
  
"Class, this is Zim. He is our new student. He." Miss Bitters was suddenly cut off.  
  
"He's an Alien!!" Dib yelled from his desk on the front row. Zim was initially startled by the outburst, but once he realized the source, he glared at the boy with hatred. "Just look at him!! Can't you all see?!"  
  
Miss Bitters growled as she was suddenly towering over him. "Dib! You will NOT interrupt me while I am speaking."  
  
"But just look at his skin; He's green! He has to be an alien!" Dib yelled frantically which did nothing to calm Zim's growing rage. He darted glances around the room looking for something he could use to impale this adversary.  
  
"Dib. this is getting old. No one ever believes what 'you' say and you know it. Why do you even try?" Zita said.  
  
"But." Dib started.  
  
"Zita's right! Stop acting like a freak, freak." The letter M piped in as he threw a piece of paper at Dib.  
  
Zim took this all in. 'Fook! This place is NO better than were I came from! I must be an idiot to have thought things could be different. Nothing ever changes. No matter where you go, or what you do, the goblins will always be there.' Zim thought back to all the torture devices back at his home. He wanted to so desperately see that Dib-beast's chest ripped open by one of them. He grinned at the thought. 'Maybe I can continue my 'punishments' here.'  
  
"Zim!" Miss Bitters yelled, snapping him back into reality. "Take your seat." She hissed and he complied. "Today you will learn why it is useless to think your life will amount to anything because you are all doomed."  
  
Zim looked at the teacher. Now that woman seemed to have a firm grasp on reality. He listened to her rantings until they bored him; taking out a pad and pencil, he started to draw Crazy Robot Boy. The skool day was long and Zim found out that the time in the classroom was nothing compared to lunch and recess. Lunch was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen in his entire lifetime. He thought about how the mystery meat resembled an alien he had once encountered. At recess, he managed to stay to himself, until that pathetic human began to taunt him about his origins. Zim could barely contain the urge to rip his throat out, but was afraid of what might happen to him if he were to do so here. in this place. He was starting to get to the point where he didn't care either way when the bell rang to announce the dismissal of skool.  
  
Zim stepped outside and began to walk away from the skool, regretting that he was expected to return there five days out of the week. Just then, Dib came up from behind him.  
  
"I know what you are. You can't hide forever." He said arrogantly while stepping in front of Zim.  
  
Zim smirked, thinking of the plastic knife he had concealed after lunch. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to keep from killing you in there?" he asked, watching his victim's movements.  
  
"What?" Dib said, taken off guard.  
  
"Yeah. I could barely wait." Zim slowly eased the plastic utensil out of his pocket. "And now I suppose I don't have to."  
  
"Zim, that's made of plastic." Dib said. Zim stared into his eyes sadistically and nodded.  
  
'Holy shit this guy's insane!' Dib thought, no longer doubting that the knife could cause some major damage.  
  
Dib laughed nervously and slowly began to back away from Zim. The grin widened as Zim stepped forward. Dib turned and ran. Zim, of course, gave chase. "You call attention to me because I'm green! Like some kind of freak?!" Zim yelled after him, but Dib was too frightened to turn around. He knew that Zim was on his heels and that if he did chance a look back it could cost him his life. Zim laughed maniacally, fully enjoying the chase. In between confinement and the long travel in space, it had been a long time since he had actually killed someone. Dib cut corners where he could and ran past a 24/7. Zim was intent on the chase until something caught his eye. He turned his gaze from his victim and rested them on the sign. His run soon turned into a slow jog and he lowered the plastic knife. Zim finally came to a stop and stared in awe. There, on the sign in front of the 24/7, was written the word 'BRAINFREEZY'. Zim pocketed the knife and rushed inside, a grin posing on his face.  
  
Dib had kept up his run, unaware that his assailant had given up chase. He ran home as fast as he could, but, because of his strange zigzag pattern, he did not beat Gaz home. He burst into his house panting, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. Gaz was disrupted by the noise and missed her chance to defeat the great hoagie king. As the words 'game over' appeared before her, she tuned her attention and hatred towards her brother.  
  
"Do you have any idea what you've just done?" Gaz said.  
  
Dib answered in between pants. "I. just. got away from. a psychotic alien who was trying to kill me!"  
  
"No you idiot! You just cost me the Hoagie King!" Gaz said as she began advancing on her brother. Dib screamed and ran up to his room, locking the door behind him.  
  
Zim gleefully entered the store and stared at the wondrous Brainfreezy machine. He had only heard about the magnificent thing. Skipping up to the machine, Zim examined the flavors.  
  
"Doom Cherry! Squee!!" Zim went to pay for his drink with some of the money he made off of Crazy Robot Boy. It didn't occur to him that he had let his victim get away until he made it back outside the store. "Shit." Zim looked around as if expecting him to be someplace near.  
  
"Hey, look at that freak over there with the green skin." Zim heard.  
  
"Heh, I bet he's a fag because he looks like a fag" came another voice.  
  
Zim turned his head, feeling the anger rising. There stood two jocks from the local hi-skool. Zim walked up to them almost casually and glared up into their eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry; does the color of my skin offend you, because it really offends me to live on the same planet with such horrendous wastes of flesh." Zim stated boldly. The jocks looked down at him.  
  
"Those are big words shorty. How you gonna back them up?" one of the jocks demanded.  
  
Zim smiled happily.  
  
*flash forward.* Later at Zim's house.  
  
"Heh heh heh." Zim grinned at his 'guests'.  
  
The jocks from earlier were strapped into two of the devices in the bowels of Zim's home. One of them seemed to be unconscious, while the other one stared in fear at his captor.  
  
"Hey. I'm sorry man! Really! If you let me go. I'll make it worth your while! Shit!" The guy looked around himself at the saw blade which hung to his left and then to the scythe that was to his right.  
  
Zim tried to hide his amusement, but wasn't doing a good job of it. His contacts began to bother him and he pondered taking them out, eager to see what reaction it would pose in his 'guest'. He decided against it instantly when his eyes fell upon the switch that worked the machine. Zim inched closer to it, so eager to pull it down. He wondered how loudly a human could scream in a moment of excruciating pain. He was soon to find out.  
  
"No man. don't do it! You're not a killer! You can't be!!" the jock screamed out futilely.  
  
"Not a killer?" Zim said suddenly shifting his gaze back to the young man. "You don't even know me yet you think you have the right to judge what I am?! You fucking piece of shit! You can't even begin to fathom what I am!"  
  
The man's eyes went wide as Zim swiftly turned and pulled the lever. A whir of mechanics could be heard as the saw came to life. He shrieked as the blade cut into his torso. The scythe gracefully swung and decapitated the man's head, sending blood across the room to splatter on the adjacent wall. Zim's laughing echoed through the room. It had been too long since he had been able to do something like that.  
  
A loud crack from behind him suddenly shook his nerves and he looked over to see the wall where the blood had splattered. There was now a thin line of cracks spreading across it.  
  
"Shit" Zim said aloud as he backed away from that side of the room. The blood from the corpse had formed a pool on the floor and slowly began to flow towards the wall. Zim watched with a mix of amazement and horror as the wall seemed to absorb the blood. The cracks seemed to visibly diminish as well. He heard a low rumble from behind the wall. Whatever was back there had just been woken up. Zim really didn't want to find out what that something was. He looked at the other jock who, somehow, had managed to remain unconscious the entire time. Zim ran upstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the drawer and his discarded freezy cup from the counter.  
  
"My boy, what's going on?" Mooseboy yelled as Zim swiftly moved by; he didn't answer, simply rushed back down the stairs and into the room where the wall was.  
  
He hurried over to the unconscious man's body and slashed his wrist with the knife, catching the blood as it ran out. When the cup was almost full, he threw its contents at the wall, splattering it across. Once again the wall seemed to absorb more and more of the blood until the cracks had disappeared almost entirely. The rumbling from behind it also died down until he could barely hear it. Zim splattered a few more coats of blood on the wall until the jock was bled dry. This seemed to satisfy it and Zim hoped it would stay. He walked back upstairs shakily and plopped down on the couch.  
  
"Zim what's wrong?" Naildoggy (as he will now be affectionately called) asked.  
  
"The wall. it. there's something behind it." He replied. "I don't know what, but it's there."  
  
"What's there Zim?" Pork questioned.  
  
Zim shook his head, not wanting to know what that thing was. "I have to keep that fucking wall wet. I don't want it to get out."  
  
"No. wait you don't have to do this." Naildoggy replied.  
  
"Don't listen to that dead dog Zim, feed the wall and have fun doing it. You can't say that you didn't have fun killing those assholes. They deserved it!" Pork interjected  
  
"Fook" Zim said hopelessly. He didn't like being forced into anything. He did enjoy teaching those jocks a lesson, but to feed a damn wall? "Maybe I am crazy." he said thinking of the word several of his victims had yelled out in their last few minutes of life.  
  
"No Zim, you can find help. somewhere. maybe someone here will help you." Naildoggy pleaded.  
  
"Yes! Crazy. beyond redemption! No one can help you. What you've become. They can't save you from yourself." Mooseboy said.  
  
"So what should I do?" Zim asked quickly.  
  
"Kill yourself." "Go have fun." the rubber animals rang out in unison.  
  
This did little more than confuse Zim and he shook his head. "I'm going out. I have to find more blood to feed that thing."  
  
"Kill a mime!" "Get stuck by oncoming traffic!" the rubber animals yelled after him. Naildoggy merely sighed.  
  
Dib had been locked in his room all day. He dared not go out for fear of his sister's wrath. Apathetically, he looked out his open window and pondered climbing up onto the roof, but that's when he saw him. the alien from class. He was leaving that strange new house next door. "Zim lives THERE?!" Dib's eyes widened with shock knowing the psycho alien killer lived right next door to his very own home.  
  
THE END  
  
Hey! That wasn't so bad now was it? If you want more of these please review and tell me. or else I won't know. suggestions are welcome of course, but please note. I don't have the last 3 issues of JtHM yet *cries and goes off to recheck her shipping date* so I can't be doin' anything from those. So REVIEW and stuff. I'm a feedback sort of gal.  
  
Sorry about the no pic. but I can describe. Zim~ the body is a lot like Nny's seems kinda tall, but he's short heh. and he's dressed like Zim, cept for the collar of the shirt being black instead of the usual pink, and the shirt is more close fitting, like Nny's . the head is shaped like Zim's . the eyes are shaped like Nny's, but of course have those accents for the pupilless irken eyes. and the antennae, as I already said, is the 'back from hell' look Nny was getting at, with them hanging forward. and the boots are Zimish. no matter how much I love Nny's boots. It ended up being Zim's Naildoggy~ is essentially Gir in the dog suit. Mr. Pork~ Think of one of Gir's piggies.. now add the hollow black rimmed eyes. black ears, stripes on the body.. (like a prison suit) and the Z? in a box on the front. Psycho Mooseboy~ Think minimoose. with stripes on its legs. the spiral eyes, and fuck written on its side. Crazy Robot Boy~ A stick-manish Gir.  
  
Ok now review. I promise if I ever get a scanner I'll post the pics.  
  
Ps: this was made in between the hours of 3am and 1pm (fear insomnia)  
  
Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z? Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z? 


	2. ZIM the Homicidal Irken

And here is my part two for this story. it is 10:43pm which is a little early for me to be writing, but I will most likely be writing on this all night. My JtHM's finally came. so that made this day just 'extra' good and put me in one of those moods. I'm crediting this all to Jhonen Vasquez. May he write more JtHM's in the near future. Oh and as in the last one ' means thoughts. *goes back to playing with Jhonen's toys*  
  
Zim the Homicidal Irken~  
  
'I can't believe I have to feed a fucking wall. I do like killing these people. They really deserve it, but this is just too much. Shit, why the fuck is this world so backwards? I don't know how much longer I can take all this. I really wish I had another Brainfreezy right now. Heh... maybe I'll go get one before finding some people to maim. Yeah, that sounds good.'  
  
Zim walked away from his house and towards the 24/7. Nearing his destination, he heard a shuffling coming from an alley. He turned his head to look for the sound's source.  
  
"Kids shouldn't be out at night little boy. It's dangerous" a shadowy looking figure stated. Zim looked up at him as he stepped out of the alley, obstructing Zim's path. "You really should be at home instead of on the streets all alone heh."  
  
"Could you move? You're in my way." The man stepped closer to Zim.  
  
"Awe. are you afraid little boy? Just come over here with me."  
  
"I was just trying to." Before Zim could finish his statement, the man grabbed him by the arm and began to yank him into the alleyway. Zim scowled as he tried to jerk his arm free of the grasp.  
  
"Come on kid..." the man said while pulling on Zim's arm. Zim reached into his pocket and took out a taser which he used to shock the man unconscious. He looked down at the body which lay on the pavement in front of him. A large grin came across his face as he dragged the man back to his home and strapped him in one of his torture devices of doom. Once he had properly secured his victim, he thought back to why he had gone out.  
  
"Oh yeah. Brainfreezy!" Zim said as he swiftly exited the room to venture back outside. This time his trip to the store wasn't disrupted and he made it there without any hindrance. He went for the machine to get his Freezy only to see a little red light flashing on it.  
  
"Oh my God! Defrost?!! (this happened to me today)" Zim said as he realized what it meant. A single tear trailed its way down his face and he looked around the store.  
  
"You!" he yelled, pointing to the clerk that sat behind the front desk. "How long will this 'defrost' last?"  
  
"Hell, I don't know kid, maybe thirty minutes or so."  
  
"But I want it Now! Not thirty minutes from now." Zim, at this point, was standing on the counter and yelling in the clerk's face. "I already had to wait because of some asshole who tried to jump me in an alleyway and now This?!"  
  
"Hey hold on kid, just get something else!"  
  
"Something else? I don't want anything else! I've had a pretty fucked up day you know; I found out that this world is full of nothing more than a bunch of desensitized fucks, skool is actually a torture/brainwashing center for the youth of the nation, and on top of that I have to keep a FUCKING WALL WET!!"  
  
"What about a Fiz Wiz instead?" the clerk asked desperately as he pointed at the product. Zim jerked his head around to see what the man was pointing at.  
  
"Ooooooh! Fiz Wiz! Fiz Wiz!" Zim giddily hopped off the counter and grabbed a cherry one. He returned holding out the money to pay for it. Disturbed, the clerk looked oddly at Zim as he rung up the sale. Zim exited the store and pondered venturing further into the city. He ultimately decided that he should check out the town in order to find out more about this world, but was soon disappointed in his decision as he found himself lost.  
  
'Now where the fuck am I? Didn't I just pass that street with the dancing rats five minutes ago?' Zim looked at the odd little rats as they danced away. 'Shit.' Zim continued to walk until he saw a woman standing under a broken streetlight.  
  
"Excuse me. I don't suppose you would know the way out would you?" he asked politely.  
  
"What's the matter? Can't find your way home to mommy little green kid?" she said gruffly. He stared at her for a moment.  
  
'People of this world can be so rude. I think I'm almost getting used to this sort of thing.'  
  
"Poor little baby. Hahahahaha!" she laughed. Zim growled through gritted teeth.  
  
"All I wanted was a little information!" Zim yelled as he drew a pair of knives and slashed the woman's legs. "That's all! Now, how do I get the fuck out of this damn city?!" She screamed and began to crawl away as best she could with her injuries. "No no. don't you fucking go yet! I'm still talking to you! Now which way?!" Zim stalked over to her and held the blade to her throat threateningly.  
  
"O.over there!" she managed to say as she shakily pointed out the direction. Zim grinned.  
  
"That's a good girl." He said as he prepared to slice the blade across her neck.  
  
"Aren't you going to let me go?" she questioned as she looked into his eyes.  
  
"Let you go? Oh no, you have shown me that any time the thought that humans are a superior race crosses my mind, I should kill myself for being so naïve. You see, you're just like all the other balls of filth on this planet and truly deserve to die. That's why I can't let you go."  
  
"But I'm really sorry. You could."  
  
"Sorry? Sorry! You're sorry all right. Sorry that you said it to my face!" Zim said as he thrust the blade deep into his victim's neck, making a squishing noise and splattering blood on the ground.  
  
"What a waste. I could have used that on the wall." Zim said as he walked in the direction of home. He made it there, finally, after another encounter with a group of people that reminded him just how much he was beginning to hate this planet. After securing them in their new homes, Zim made his way back upstairs to the living room.  
  
"How was your night on the town?" Mr. Pork asked happily.  
  
"I'm thinking about going back." Zim replied. "I hate this place."  
  
"What do you mean go back? You wouldn't want to go back to that room where they had you locked up like some kind of head case would you?"  
  
"At least things were familiar there. Here, I don't know up from down."  
  
"Now there's an idea. go back. You know, I really like that idea. Maybe you should." Psycho Mooseboy stated.  
  
"Have you given up all hope on this place completely?" Naildoggy asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Look, just give it one more day. Maybe things will be better." Zim sighed.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Zim stepped out into the oppressive sun to begin his walk to the skool. He wanted nothing more than to mercilessly slaughter his entire class, especially that insidious Dib, but he still feared what could happen in that place. He always felt watched. Zim could wait until the skool day was done before continuing what he had begun the day before with that pest. He grinned at the thought of what he could do once he captured his victim, but scowled as the thought of feeding his victim's blood to the wall came into his mind. That wall still haunted his memory and he couldn't shake the fear that he had associated with that thing behind it. Still, he had to feed it. Zim shook the thought from his head as he rounded the corner of his block.  
  
  
  
Dib watched nervously from the window of his house as the insane alien disappeared from his view.  
  
"Dib, you're going to be late." Gaz said.  
  
"I'm coming Gaz. I just don't want to run into that alien. He tried to kill me you know." Dib said as he left the house with his sister. She seemed to have gotten over her anger from the previous day.  
  
"That alien? You have serious problems Dib." Gaz replied as she turned on her Game Slave.  
  
"I don't want to get chopped into itty bitty bits and be experimented on."  
  
"Shh. I'm playing this." Gaz said as she went into 'play mode'. Dib sighed to himself as he followed his sister towards their skool.  
  
Through most of the day Dib was wary of Zim's every move, afraid that if Zim wasn't having an idea involving his demise that it was a plan to enslave the human race. Zim tried his best to ignore the pesky Dib. What he had planned was good enough to wait on, but it wasn't easy to ignore his other classmates. They got on his last nerve and he began to plot out their deaths as he waited on the day to end.  
  
When the final bell rang, Dib looked across the classroom to his enemy, but was surprised to see he had already exited the room. He nervously grabbed his book bag and left the room.  
  
'Zim must have planned something.' Dib thought to himself as he walked out of the building. Paranoia started to set in as Dib walked home. He constantly turned and watched his back as he felt he was being followed. Every sound made him jump and he hoped all his suspicions were in his head.  
  
Zim watched his prey from afar. He was very good at following people undetected. Zim giggled as his meticulous plotting began to unfold before him, but he started to get the feeling that 'he' was being followed. Zim turned around only to see a very disturbing looking Chihuahua (and you all know which Chihuahua) staring at him. He tried to ignore it and return his attention to Dib, but took a forced look back; the dog was gone. Zim sighed in relief as he continued his pursuit. A little ways along, Zim got that feeling once again. and glanced back. There it was. that same fucking dog. It stared at him and began walking forward. Zim panicked and took a few steps back. It continued walking towards him. Zim looked at his victim and looked back to the dog as he began to panic.  
  
"IT KNOWS!!" Zim yelled as he ran from the dog. Dib was startled by the yelling and turned around to see Zim running straight at him. Frozen in fear, he began to scream. Zim whizzed past him and continued down the block as Dib remained stationary, trying to regain his senses.  
  
"Well that was strange." Dib said finally.  
  
Zim ran for home base as fast as his legs could carry him. Once there, he flung open the door and slammed it shut behind him as he panted for breath.  
  
"What's the matter Zim?" Naildoggy asked.  
  
"The damn thing knew!" Zim said. "I'm getting off this fucking planet right now!" And with that, Zim made a dash up the stairs to the attic area where his cruiser was. He hit several buttons on the side of it, trying to make the door open; he got no response. He began to hit the buttons menacingly, only to find that there was still no response.  
  
"Dammit! Those bastards tricked me! They weren't sending me off on any mission! They were just trying to get rid of me! Those assholes!" Zim ranted as he went directly to the first of the underground levels. Hot tears began to stream down his face as he clicked away at the keys on a rather large panel. He wiped them away as he stared up at the view panel before him. His leaders appeared on the screen.  
  
"You stupid fucks! You sent me here to die didn't you?!" Zim said aggressively. Purple suppressed a laugh as Red tried to speak.  
  
"Heheh... so you figured out our little joke? We thought it would take you at least a month or so to do it!"  
  
"You lying sacks of Shit what sort of twisted humor is this to you?! How is my life a joke?!"  
  
"Come on Zim, it's always been a joke. Was it ever anything else?"  
  
"I swear if I ever find a way off this planet, I am going to hunt you down and torture you to death."  
  
"You already tried that remember?" Purple said while wiping away a tear of his own.  
  
"Look, you've got that whole little planet to yourself to do whatever you want so stop sniveling like a little baby." Red said.  
  
"Heheh. We're going to block your transmissions now, so don't even try to contact us."  
  
"Bye now! Have a good life!" And with those final words from the tallest, the screen went black. Zim stared at it for a moment as the tears he was unable to stop began to flow. He numbly returned to the living room and curled up on the sofa.  
  
"Zim, what's wrong?" Naildoggy asked.  
  
"All a fucking lie. and now I'm trapped here." Zim said.  
  
"Oh pooh, why don't you go kill yourself?" Mooseboy said. Zim looked up at Psycho Mooseboy.  
  
"That's it. they can't keep me from the stars. I'll beat them." Zim said as he drew his knife and held it to his wrist.  
  
"Wait, don't!" Naildoggy and Mr. Pork yelled out at the same time.  
  
"This isn't beating them! You'd only be making them win!" Naildoggy yelled.  
  
"Don't take this out on yourself. Go find a deserving victim and take it out on them. They are the ones that deserve to die!" Pork added. Zim shakily held the blade steady for another moment before casting it away.  
  
"Fuck" he said as he gripped his legs in to his chest and cried.  
  
The End. for now.  
  
  
  
And so ends part two of my insane little story. I hope you people are enjoying this stuff it is now 2:14am and although I really don't want to stop now, this is all my creative juices have conjured. so please review me. I need the feedback in any way. ooh. this part's not as long as the last part. which I had no fucking clue was that long until I posted it. heh... now review.. 8} 


	3. More ZIM!

Here I am again... in another writing mood... so you get MORE... heh well. This would be part 3 of this that I write which in no way belongs to me.. that would be Jhonen you should admire. Ok.. it's 11:39pm..But since intros waste time.. and you should be skipping this (that's what I'd do) I won't make it long... so here endith the intro... on with the creative juices! (squishy)  
  
~Zim the Homicidal Irken pt3  
  
'Naildoggy's right. I can't let them win. They would want this. They're probably up there waiting for confirmation of my death or something. Well, they can't have it; not this time. Fuck them, and fuck their wars. I don't even know why I thought they could be serious. So stupid...'  
  
"Now look what you two have gone and made him do! He was going to do it and you stopped him!" Psycho Mooseboy rang out. Zim looked up from his arms to study M-boy's unchanging expression.  
  
"Be patient and leave him alone! I know what the boy needs!" Mr. Pork interjected. Zim turned his gaze to Pork.  
  
"What he needs is to end it; one quick swipe from that blade would have ended it all!" M-boy demanded.  
  
"Stop!" Zim exclaimed as he was suddenly standing. "How can either of you know what I need when I don't even know?!"  
  
"Don't listen to them; they only want to confuse you. You can stay here and you can stop feeding that ..." Naildoggy said.  
  
"Silence you sack of decaying meat!" Pork yelled as he suddenly jumped forward, ripped poor Naildoggy's head off and threw it to the floor.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait! I must be going crazy. Since when can you move?" Zim demanded of the rubber toy in front of him.  
  
"The dog was aggravating!" pork defended. Zim tilted his head to the side, a look of confusion on his face.  
  
"Look! It's time for Blue's Clues!" squealed a live pig that had somehow made its way into the house.  
  
We see a strange cop version of Steve snooping around in a dark alley.  
  
"Blue's killed again. Let's see what clues she's left us to find her whereabouts with." He walks down the alleyway a bit until he spies something with a blue paw print on it. "Hmm.. a bone, with some of the decaying flesh still attached! We need to write this down." Further down the alley we hear a shuffling.  
  
"You'll never take me alive you ass fuck!" Blue yells as she jumps a fence.  
  
"There's Blue! Let's get her!" Steve proceeds to chase Blue and the scene turns into something off of Cops.  
  
  
  
Dib sat at the window in his room glaring at the extraterrestrial's home.  
  
'He must be planning something' Dib thought to himself. 'I bet he did that thing on the way home from school just to scare me. pft I bet he won't even kill me. He just wants to get me all worked up so I won't go and uncover whatever plot of evil he's plotting. Well he's not going to fool me!' "I'll start spying on you tomorrow, Zim." Dib said as he left the window in favor of his computer monitor. He had plans to discuss with his fellow paranormalists.  
  
  
  
Zim stayed in all night, finding himself too depressed to venture out into a world populated with fucked up pieces of shit. Luckily the next day was a Saturday which Zim found meant he didn't have to go to the horrible place of impending doom, A.K.A. skool. It was about mid afternoon when Zim was disturbed by a knocking on his door. He opened it slightly and peered out to see who might be intruding on his property. There stood a lady dressed in a fancy suit, holding a black bag in front of her. She donned a fake smile as she looked down at Zim.  
  
"I'm selling things. Would you..." She stopped abruptly as Zim threw open the door and jumped up, grabbing her by the collar of her suit and bringing her down to his level.  
  
"I need no things! It sent you didn't it!" Zim demanded.  
  
"Wha? Who?" the woman asked as she slowly tried to pull herself away.  
  
"The dog!" Zim yelled, not letting up on his grip.  
  
"No... Really, I was just going to see if anyone in your household would like to buy some cosmetics." The woman said, beginning to get a little frantic.  
  
"Oh.." Zim said as he released his grip. The woman got to her feet and slowly backed away from the disturbed boy. After she had gotten to what she believed to be a safe distance, she turned tail and ran. Zim watched her as she fled.  
  
"What strange creatures these humans are." He said as he returned to the safety of his home.  
  
Dib slowly lifted his head off his keyboard. He had fallen asleep while IMing Agent Mulderman the previous night. His eyes darted around his room as if unfamiliar with his surroundings before coherency returned to him. He yawned lazily as he stood and began to look for his spying tools.  
  
'Alright, I have to sneak over there and observe as much as possible without being seen. That shouldn't be too hard. I just can't let him see me coming back home. He can't know that I live right next door to him.' Dib pondered to himself as he walked downstairs with his supplies. "Now all I have to wait for is it to get dark and I'm set!"  
  
"Shut up!" Gaz demanded from her seat on the couch.  
  
"Gaz, don't you care that I'm going to save the world and be famous for discovering alien life?"  
  
"If you do not be quiet I will make sure that when they find you they will not be able to discern your remains from that of a chicken that has been mauled by a weasel. (I like weasels. I have a cute fuzzy white one, but he doesn't eat chickens)" Dib honestly pondered asking 'who is they' but decided against it.  
  
The day passed quickly and soon evening was upon them. Dib, decked out in his supped up spy gear, exited the house through his back door. The fence in between his and Zim's yard insured that he could go unnoticed. 'I'll just sneak into the backyard and look in the window. If I can I'll get inside.' He thought as he adjusted the zoom on his camera. He stealthily snuck to where his chain link fence came into contact with the tall wooden fence that surrounded Zim's backyard. He scaled the chain link and pulled himself to the top of the wooden fence. He quietly hopped off the fence and landed on the loose dirt of the backyard. Dib slowly made his way up to the boarded up window which cast a slight amount of illumination across the yard from a large gap between the planks.  
  
Zim stood in the kitchen, preparing a can of skettios on the stove. Along with the usual O's you would expect to be in spaghettios, there were also little triangle shapes. Zim thought he heard a slight sound like the shaking of a metal fence, but quickly dismissed it. He then heard a soft thudding noise that sounded close. He walked away from the stove for a moment to glance out the window. The backyard was silent and mostly shrouded in shadows. He glared out with his deep crimson eyes and lingered a moment, listening to the sounds of the night. When he was satisfied that he was hearing things, he turned back indoors to check on his meal.  
  
'That was close' Dib thought as he relaxed at his position against the building wall. He slowly inched up underneath the window and prepared to peep in. Dib held his breath as he looked in through the crack. He saw Zim, undisguised, standing near what looked like a normal stove. 'Must be an alien stove.' Dib thought to himself as he brought the camera up for a picture. He was about to take it when Zim turned, feeling as if someone was watching him. Dib immediately dropped down from the window and leaned back into the wall, looking out at the yard. Zim stared at the window for another moment before averting his attention. 'That was too close.' Dib let his eyes trail across the yard and saw some strange thing that seemed to be sticking up out of the soil. He glanced up at the window and then began to make his way over to the strange lump in the ground. As he neared it he began to smell something disgusting. Squinting to see, he realized what the thing was. A thin skeleton finger was lying on the dirt, a fly circling it, and Dib could see it was attached to something fleshy that went down into the ground. He held back a shriek as he backed away from the body part. As quickly as he could he ran and jumped the fence. Now safely in his yard, Dib ran for inside and picked up the phone in the living room.  
  
Zim had been pouring the skettios out into a bowl when he heard that noise from outside. He quickly completed the task and darted to the window to hear a thump coming from the next yard and through the boards he could see someone running for the house.  
  
"I'll have to find out who lives there." Zim said aloud while squinting his eyes.  
  
  
  
"Hello? Yes, I need the police.. now!" Dib spoke into the receiver.  
  
"Shh! Keep it down! I've got to beat this zombie mongoose and the llama demon is coming up!" Gaz yelled from her seat.  
  
"Yes? I'd like to report a murder!"  
  
"Be quiet Dib!"  
  
"There's this insane alien that lives next door to... No I don't mean from another country... Listen! He's psycho and he's killing ... what? No, this isn't a prank call! Just listen... he could kill again and..." Dib pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment before hanging it up. "Gaz, there's bodies buried in Zim's backyard!"  
  
"Not now Dib."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Not Now!"  
  
Dib looked sullenly at his sister before rushing up the stairs to his room to report his progress to his fellow Swollen Eyeballs.  
  
END!  
  
Heh... well I guess this is starting to have a lack of descriptive death in it. I need more of that. I shall do more of that... yes. Oh well tell me what you think so far. *looks at the button down there, looks at you...* alright... so push it. It's okay kids, it don't bite. *realizes that kids shouldn't be reading this* oh well... I'll do my part to keep corrupting your little minds and you do your part and push that thingy with your mouse. If you don't I won't know if you read it or not... and Gir won't get any waffles so boohoo... 


	4. I really need to come up with some spiff...

Ooh. another chapter. I'm starting to get enthused about writing this. Thank you kindly reviewer peoples, you have made my life a little less unbearable. It's 5:05am and I feel like writing... myep. So here is the story that I am writing about characters that I don't own, that would be Jhonen. I guess I do own the plot though... heh. Well here is another installment of DOOM!  
  
Zim the Homicidal Irken pt4  
  
Dib sat in his room, plotting his next move. After finding that body, there was no disputing that the alien next door really was a killer.  
  
'Shit' Dib thought. 'What if he tries to kill me after school Monday? I don't want to end up another corpse for his collection. I wonder how many people he's killed so far.' Dib looked over at the digital clock sitting on his nightstand. 'Twelve thirty; it's getting late. I should probably go to bed and think on this tomorrow.'  
  
Zim sat at his desk. He munched on a spoonful of the spaghettios while working on his latest Crazy Robot Boy comic. He giggled insanely as he drew the scene:  
  
"The MESSAGE is here! Run in FEAR from the shower of Taquitos!! SPORK!" Crazy Robot Boy shouted from atop his soap box. "Can't you see the rancid TUNASALAD?!"  
  
A passerby was seemingly struck with awe and watched as the 'superior' alien robot thingy shouted out words of wisdom (This guy makes me doubt human intelligence). "Oh wise robot from another place, fill me with your knowledge! What is the meaning of life?!"  
  
"Meatballs?" he asked.  
  
Another person came before Robot Boy on his soap box and bowed down. "Yes, FILL US!"  
  
"Foot odor persons, you must GRAB the elixir of LIFE! Don't let the mall security attack you with MEAT!!FUCK you're stupid!" He yelled to the masses (which consisted of two people).  
  
"Daddy, look at all those dumb people worshiping that skinny robot thing." A little boy said to his dad, who was decked out in the uniform of a mall security guard.  
  
"Look!" screamed Crazy Robot Boy. "Your siblings are in PERIL!! Seize the offending TESICLE! DAMN THIS RASH!" With that, Robot Boy's two followers screamed out war cries and rushed the boy's father.  
  
"Daddy, make them die." The boy asked. "Ok son." He said as he pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot the pedestrians in the stomach, which effectively left their entrails scattered about on the ground.  
  
"GASP!" Robot Boy said as he jumped from his soap box and fell to his knees before the corpses. "My PIGGIES!! I loveded you so good! MEAT solicitor!" Crazy Robot Boy was on his feet and pointing directly at the offending guard as some birds and an unleashed dog began to eat the dead bodies. "You must have LIKED the cream filling to have given my MOO JUICE away!" The child's father looked at Robot Boy and growled as he pulled the trigger on his gun at point blank range. Crazy Robot Boy's circuitry was sprayed all over the place. END  
  
Zim chuckled upon the completion of another of his comics. He looked over at his empty bowl. 'Hmm... Maybe now would be a good time to see who that is that lives next door to me.' grinning, he stood and took the bowl to the kitchen. He opened the knife drawer, took out a rather twisted looking blade and carefully placed it in his boot, just in case. After putting on his disguise, he was ready to investigate the house next door.  
  
In the cover of night, it was no problem for Zim to slip up to the house undetected. He was thrilled to find a window to the living room unlocked. He peered into the dark room which was only lit by the glow of a TV. A silhouetted figure sat watching the program on the couch. Zim quietly slipped in and walked over to the person. Gaz was deeply immersed in her movie and didn't notice Zim until he spoke.  
  
"What are you watching?" Zim said as he stared at the screen.  
  
"Shh!" she spat out, acknowledging he presence.  
  
Zim looked at her for a moment and then back at the television. He sat down next to her on the couch as became engrossed in the movie as well. "You didn't try to sneak into my backyard did you?" Zim said as he glanced over at Gaz for a moment.  
  
"That was my stupid brother." She replied, not taking her eyes off the movie.  
  
"Who's your brother?" Zim asked.  
  
"Quiet! The best part is coming up!" Gaz snapped as she watched the killer on the screen desecrate a corpse in a very perverse manner.  
  
Zim looked at her for another moment and then back at the screen, but apparently at the wrong moment. Grimacing at the display, he suddenly felt a bit sick and stood as a hand went to his mouth. He may kill people, but not like that. Walking away from that disgusting movie, Zim decided that now would be a good time to go home; he had seen more than he wanted to. At least he wasn't expected to go back to that skool for another day.  
  
Back at home, Zim lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling for several hours until night turned to day.  
  
"When do you plan on feeding the wall again?" Mr. Pork asked innocently.  
  
"Already? How often do I have to feed that thing?" Zim asked as he eased himself into a sitting position.  
  
"Well it is a growing wall." Pork said. Zim looked at him oddly.  
  
"That made no sense..."  
  
"Hmm... I know! What about those people from the other night? Blood is just a lucky side effect of what you could do!"  
  
"I'd almost forgotten!" Zim said happily as his face contorted into a wicked grin. "They must learn their lesson."  
  
  
  
Later, in the nadir of Zim's home, a man begged for his life.  
  
"Please let me go, I didn't mean it when I called you a short and skinny fagot! Really!" Zim stared at the man chained to his wall for a long moment before walking out of the shadowed part of the room. He looked down at the knife he held in his hands. It was a long blade, extending from wrist to elbow, sharp and unstained with blood. Zim quickly brought his head up to meet the gaze of the captive.  
  
"Now if you're done confessing your sins, I thought you could help me with something. You see, I don't know very much about the human anatomy..."  
  
"Oh hell... please no." the victim began but quickly silenced himself as Zim shifted the knife into his right hand and brought it up to the victim's eye level. He lowered it slowly and brought it down to the victim's exposed abdomen.  
  
"Ya know this is probably going to hurt a lot; so feel free to scream as loud as you want." Zim took to blade and cut into the skin. The man let out a short scream and clinched his teeth as he began to hyperventilate.  
  
"See now that's the spirit!" Zim said with an insanely large grin plastered upon his face as he drove the knife in deeper, cutting through skin and tissues. He then pulled the knife away and shoved his hand into the wound. After digging around for a moment, he found what he was looking for and pulled out the man's spleen.  
  
"So what's this?" He said bringing it into the screaming man's view. "Oh come on; I haven't even gotten good and started yet, so tell me what this thing is." He began to look weak and passed out at the sight of one of his organs on the outside of his body. Zim sighed. "Great." He looked around the room for a moment and then stomped off into an adjacent one. Inside, a young woman cowered in the corner; her limbs were bound and a gag was over her mouth. She stared at Zim as he entered the room.  
  
"You see this?" he asked, holding the organ out. She glanced at it and looked away as tears began to well up in her eyes. "Well? Do you know what it is?" She clinched her eyes shut and nodded quickly, a muffled whimper escaping her lips. Zim reached for her mouth and tore the gag from her face. She shrieked at the sudden movement towards her and shook with fear. "What is it?"  
  
"A... an organ." She managed to utter between shaky breaths.  
  
"I know that; which one?"  
  
"I...I..." she glanced over at it again. "Oh God..." she said as she turned away.  
  
"Answer me!" Zim yelled.  
  
"I don't know!" she shrieked back. Zim dropped the organ to the ground. It slid across the cement floor and towards the woman. She let out another scream of fear as Zim turned and walked out of the room.  
  
"This is going to take longer than I thought."  
  
Zim spent the rest of the day getting his anatomy lesson but found out that some of these humans knew less about their organs than he did. The night came and Zim placed a new coat on the ravenous wall. This 'feeding' the wall was the most disgusting thing Zim, in his opinion, had ever done. He loathed bodily fluids and attempted to avoid contact with such as much as possible.  
  
'I need more blood for the wall.' Zim thought as he finished painting on the last bit. 'Why can't this stuff just stay? I really detest this.' He set down the paint brush he was using and walked back upstairs. On his way up he looked at the inactive communications equipment which only served to anger him. 'They'd better pray that I never find a way off this planet, because the second I do, not even their special guards will be able to save them.' He finally arrived on the ground level and looked out the window.  
  
"The stars are lovely" he said aloud. He forced an unconvincing smile as he left the house to brave the cold and uncaring world. He walked down the street, shoving his hands in his pockets casually. Zim knew he wouldn't have to go far to find someone 'worthy' enough for the wall. As it was, the streets were empty and Zim did find himself venturing farther than he expected he would have to. Before he realized it, he had come upon the 24/7. 'A Brain Freezy, that will calm my nerves' he thought as he entered the store and walked up to the machine. There was no cherry.  
  
"What happened to the cherry Freezy?" Zim asked the clerk, who was a completely different one from last time.  
  
"I dunno. Hey kid, shouldn't you be with your parents?" Zim thought back to his parentless childhood. "Are you going to buy something or not?"  
  
"Uhm, yeah." Zim said as he went to the freezers to get a Fiz Wiz. Just think how upset he was to find that they were sold out. "You wouldn't happen to have any cherry Fiz Wiz in the back would you? I'd really like one" he said upon returning to the desk. The clerk shrugged indifferently. He wasn't about to get up, not for some little kid anyway. Zim tried to keep his temper.  
  
"Could you go check?" he asked through gritted teeth.  
  
"I'm thinking no" he replied.  
  
"No... NO?!" Zim exclaimed as he leapt upon the counter, drawing the knife from his boot. "It... would... be... nice... if... someone... on... this... planet... would... care!" he ranted while giving the man a stab for every word. "You piece of shit! I hate you! I hate your race!" he yelled with more stabbing action. He suddenly stopped and glanced at the mangled clerk who died soon after the stabbing had begun.  
  
"Oh..." he said, realizing his overreaction. Zim looked around the store to see if anyone was around. Finding the place to be empty, he wiped his knife off and replaced it in his boot as he left empty handed.  
  
'That got me nowhere.' He thought as he once again went to the streets. Zim ventured into the city once again, sure that this time he could navigate the maze of streets and back alleys. The city, being infested with assholes, provided plenty of new victims for the wall.  
  
FINI  
  
Well... here endith part 4. It had a good bit of gore. Hee hee hee! Well, I'm working on a chappie 5 for yous, just thought I'd end this one right there. I don't want it to end up like chapter one. lengthwise. I really NEED a scanner, and trust me, I've been looking. As soon as I get one, those pics are going to be on the net. But, anyway... thank you for wasting your time reading this chapter which was the first to have not been written in one sitting. Now review. It's really not that difficult and time consuming, so go at it. 


	5. A Reason to Hate Contacts

And here I start on my part 5. This is fun! Anyway, I'm plotting and stuff... found out that my backorder Squee is shipping on the 23, which means it'll be here on the 24, which is when I'm scheduled to take the GED, oh well. I'll get it the next day I suppose. ON WITH THE FIC! Oh yeah, I lack ownership of all except this page *points* my words are my words and thems are my words.  
  
ZIM the hOmiCIdAL irKeN (look psycho writing)  
  
'A skool day' Zim thought as 7:30am rolled around. He rubbed his eyes which began to feel scratchy. It was at this point that Zim realized he had failed to remove his contacts that night. He winced at the thought of suffering with these things on the entire time he was at skool. "Damn Lenses."  
  
Zim walked out into the bright sun. His eyes teared up in pain as he squinted in the oppressive light. It was almost impossible for him to see anything more than his path. This was a lucky thing for Dib who had started off for skool earlier than usual. Zim caught up to him about two blocks from their destination but was unable to notice his enemy due to the vision impairment.  
  
'There is no way I'm going to last all day like this.' Then, an ingenious plan came to Zim's mind. 'I'll take them out. Maybe if I squint, no one will be able to notice!' He was desperate for release and quickly shed his lenses once he made it to his seat. So far so good. Mrs. Bitters began to teach her lesson of doom as Dib stared over at Zim. He had become immersed in his little comic world and was drawing the next panel.  
  
"Zim?" Mrs. Bitters said as Zim realized she was looming over his shoulder.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, looking up at her. He realized the mistake the second he committed it.  
  
"You've got pinkeye! Report to the nurse!" she screeched as she placed a band around his wrist. "That's the hall pass. It will make sure you lose your hand if you even try to leave campus." Zim cursed himself for taking such a risk.  
  
"You don't have human organs Zim. The nurse will know you're an alien!" Dib yelled from his seat. Zim gave him a dirty look before entering the hall.  
  
"No more chances, these things have to go back on." He shoved the scratchy lenses into his eyes. 'I don't have those organs. Will they notice?' he thought as he watched Dirge leave his class, heading for the bathroom. "When opportunity knocks..." Zim grinned slyly as he crept up behind the boy.  
  
"Hiya Zim!" an odd boy with a rainbow on his shirt said. This made Zim jump a mile. "I'm Keef. You want to be my buddy? Huh? We can be best friends!" Zim's eye twitched as he watched his victim make it safely to the bathroom.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Zim said deadpan looking at spot where Dirge had disappeared. "Say, buddy... I've got something we can do... just come with me." he said as sweetly as possible.  
  
"Oh really Zim? We're going to have so much fun!"  
  
"Yes, yes we are." He said as he motioned to the bathroom door. Keef entered with Zim happily following. "Alright boys." He said, getting Dirge's attention "You get to help me out. Won't that be fun?"  
  
"Hey, wanna see something neat?" Dirge said as he bent down to untie his shoe. Zim was immediately freaked out, grabbed the knife from his boot and stabbed quickly as Keef stared in shock as a small gasp escaped his lips. Zim looked up from his work with bloodshot eyes.  
  
"Zim...yyou just..." Keef stuttered as he began to back towards the door. Zim attacked, slitting his throat to silence his weak squeak of protest.  
  
"Now for the fun part..."  
  
About ten minutes later, Zim made his way to the nurse's office. Upon the wall were some directions to various departments. These included: head pigeons, pencil lodged in brain, someone put shit in my pants, and head explodey. He looked up to the woman sitting at the desk. She looked down at him while squeaking a little skeleton toy off and on.  
  
"Hi! Do you feel bad little boy? Is that why you're here? Talk to spooky!" she immediately shoved the toy in Zim's face and squeaked it twice. Zim shoved the toy away as his right eye twitched slightly.  
  
"My eyes hurt." He said blandly.  
  
"You wear contacts?"  
  
"Uhm, yeah."  
  
"Try this!" she once again shoved an object into Zim's face. He shifted to the side and eyed the new item curiously.  
  
"Saline?"  
  
"Myep, now go back to class little boy." She squeaked the toy a few more times as Zim accepted the eye drops. He walked away from the disturbing girl at the desk and returned to the bathroom. Upon entering, he expelled the grotesque organs.  
  
"That was sickening. She didn't even check to see if I had human organs." He looked down at the two boys' corpses, then opened the liquid substance and began dripping it into his eyes. After a few applications, he glanced at the drops.  
  
'These things work really well' he thought as he placed the item in his pocket and returned to class.  
  
Mrs. Bitters had decided to make her class write an essay on why their parents hated them. As soon as the children were preoccupied, she whipped out a comic and began reading it. Upon closer inspection, the name of this comic would read Hideous Blob Thing. If we were to peer over the old woman's shoulder, which is a disturbing thing to do and should only be done in the company of someone with a lead pipe, we would see...  
  
The Adventures of Hideous Blob Thing, laugh at his pain.  
  
"It is my undying mission to skulk around the world and impart my extensive knowledge to all." ~Hideous Blob Thing  
  
"Oh don't you people see the futility of your existence? It is a mere illusion, a chimera. All is doomed and you with it. Open your eyes!" He flails his arms with the urgency of his message.  
  
"Listen to me inferior beings! My hideously misshapen head holds the truths. Am I the only one who knows?"  
  
"What you say?" asks a little critter of nature.  
  
"You poor poor fool, you cannot gasp understanding of the knowledge. It is too much for your tiny brain to comprehend. I envy your ignorance."  
  
"I'm going to go eat a slug now." And with that, the critter hopped off and found a tasty specimen for his digestive juices to make rancid. Hideous Blob Thing shakes his head and continues on in his quest.  
  
The End  
  
Mrs. Bitters looked up at her moronic class and demanded their papers be turned in. She then went into one of her doom patented lectures.  
  
  
  
"And that is why self isolation leads to conversations with inanimate objects. Any questions?"  
  
'So that's the reason...' Zim thought to himself. He raised his hand to ask if inanimate object included decaying dog corpses.  
  
"Yes Zim?" Mrs. Bitters asked. He was about to reply, when a phone appeared on the teacher's desk and began ringing. Mrs. Bitters picked up the loud annoyance. It reminded Zim of the skool bell.  
  
"Yes, yes... I see." She set the receiver back down. The phone sank into her desk in a fiery display as a soul fled.  
  
"Class, it appears the two students formerly believed to have been abducted by one of the shady figures outside offering candy to children have been found in the bathroom; their remains are scattered about in a gory display. Due to the fact that I want to go look and the skool head demanded it, you are to be let out for the rest of the day. Now go away." The fiendish teacher departed into the hall. The children exchanged fearful glances before filing out of the classroom uncharacteristically sullen.  
  
"I knew them. They were good."  
  
"Yeah, good and nice."  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Zim curiously returned to the crime scene as the empty shell-like corpses were brought out along with several organs. Zim became queasy at the remembrance of the disgusting taste of a particular organ. A policeman was interviewing a little wide eyed boy who had obviously been the one to stumble across the mutilated corpses. His eyes were extremely large and he gripped a stuffed bear with all his strength. Mrs. Bitters was standing there taking in the scene with an eagerness that disturbed Zim. He diverted his gaze from the morbidly fascinated teacher and once again looked upon the boy.  
  
The policeman had given up on trying to get rational answers from the traumatized boy and was now helping his fellow officers at trying to leave their fingerprints all over the crime scene before forensics could get there. Zim slipped up beside the little boy unheard.  
  
"Hey" he said innocently. The child jumped and let out a squee as he dug his stubby little fingers into the worn bear.  
  
"Wh..who are you?" he asked shakily.  
  
"I'm Zim. Who's that?" He pointed to the bear that was in the boy's vice grip.  
  
"This is Shmee." Zim suddenly heard the bear give his opinion on the extraterrestrial.  
  
"You LIE!!" Zim leapt to his feet and pointed demandingly at the bear. He quickly darted down the hall and out the door. (*mini story that didn't really happen* He ran quickly to the curb. BAAAM! The hall pass blew his left hand off. "Fuuuuuck! Shit damn and other such expletives!" Zim hopped up and down on one foot while cradling his handless wrist. He immediately stopped and stood up straight. "Oh well... I'm going to go get a brainfreezy now." He walks down the street whistling a happy tune. END *now what really did happen*) He ran quickly to the curb, suddenly stopping to think.  
  
'It's a good thing I'm not still wearing that hall pass. I'm really fond of this hand, besides it's on my squeezing arm.' Zim stood blankly as another thought entered his mind. 'I let the Dib get away again.'  
  
"Fook." Zim walked home slowly pondering when he would kill his nemesis as well as thinking over the things Mrs. Bitters had said in class.  
  
As soon as he made it back to his residence, Zim looked up to see Psycho Mooseboy staring at him sinisterly. He thought nothing of it and went to sit on the couch after removing his contacts. He had learned his lesson when it came to lenses. After a long pause, he looked to M-Boy and spoke up.  
  
"Mooseboy, today at skool, the teacher said that self isolation leads to conversations with inanimate objects and I was just wondering..."  
  
"Oh come now, don't be ridiculous Z, that teacher..."  
  
"Z? (Will you look at that? Could that be a subliminal message to question sleep? *looks at the clock which says 3:18am*) You've never called me that before."  
  
"What? You don't like it?" Zim gave the moose a look of confusion. It was obvious that the toy's diversion had worked well to steer Zim off the topic.  
  
"No it's just different." Zim pondered his new nickname for a while and then looked at the T.V.  
  
"I wonder if..." He suddenly stopped as he noticed a disturbed squirrel crawl in the window. The squirrel, which appeared to be dazed, ignored the room's inhabitant and walked over to a candy corn which was lying on the floor. Zim studied the creature for a moment.  
  
"Why mush you taunt me with your coldness?! You... Mr. Scolex! That's right, I shall kill you now Mr. Scolex!" Zim jumped upon the confused squirrel and squished it under his boot, which understandably left a big mess. Zim looked at his soiled boot.  
  
About five minutes later Zim had cleaned up the mess and was gazing out the kitchen window.  
  
"Seriously Z, naming a squirrel? That was lacking in sanity on your part." Mooseboy, who had miraculously appeared in the kitchen moments after Zim, said.  
  
"Z? (There I go with the subliminal stuff again.) Hey... I like that." Mr. Pork said from his position next to Psycho Mooseboy. Zim exhaled.  
  
'What is with that nickname anyway? The only nicknames I've ever had are short, small, little, tiny, undersized, petite, anorexic, and diminutive. Where did this Z come from? It does have a ring to it though...' Zim became lost in thought as he gazed at the cold, distant moon.  
  
END  
  
  
  
Yay! Another chapter in the bag! *looks at her Halloween project* Hee hee hee, I'm saving that though. It is now 4:02am and I am going to skip off to my story in the making and write on it for a while. *waves to all you people in fic land* Oh and I luv reviewers! When I doom the planet, you can be my personal minions! Yay! Curly fries for all! 


	6. Two New Students! Who Are They You Ask? ...

Ahahahaha! SQUEE! Came earlier than expected... This makes me a happy bee. Bees are scary. Anyway... I now take a step away from my apathetic lifestyle to write this, my fic. All who have reviewed get the honor of being able to hold an extremely destructive gun during the impending invasion. Have fun and set something on fire.  
  
Zim the hOmiCiDaL IrkEn part 6 (Hee hee hee!)  
  
The next day at skool started off similar to any day Zim had experienced in the wonderful world of public education. The only discrepancy was the admittance of two new students.  
  
"To fill the emotional gaps suffered by those of you who remember that two of your classmates were eviscerated in the boys' bathroom yesterday, the skool has assigned two new students to this already overly crowded room. Those of you who feel a loss over yesterday's incident are ignorant and doomed by your weak display of sympathy. The two new students to share your condemned fate are Tak and Poonchy." Mrs. Bitters pointed to the door as the new admittances filed in. Poonchy: Drinker of Hate raised his hands over his head and immediately took the abandoned desk of Dirge.  
  
"Hi, I'm Tak. I just moved here." Walking to Keef's desk, Tak takes a long look at Zim. He returns her gaze with curiosity.  
  
"Alright class, now we will begin our discussion on half-life, and what significance it had in the bombing of two cities in Japan." The teacher began her long and drawn out lesson which included a detailed description of the steps in radiation sickness.  
  
The incessant rambling of the ancient woman grated on Zim's nerves and he couldn't shake the feeling of a familiarity he got from the new student Tak. Simply looking at her was enough to bring back feelings of nostalgia. A particular event from his past seemed to become prominent in his mind. It had to have happened over a hundred years ago. It was very rare that Zim would be able to remember something from this far back in his life, but this was one of those rare occasions. He was quite young then and attended one of the many training facilities available for brainwashing young Irkens into conformity. In a hangar, Zim had used the thrusters of a Voot Runner to melt the skin off the head of one of his instructors. He smiled at the memory.  
  
Slowly, the skool day came to a close and the students were sent away. Another wave of remembrance had distracted Zim and he once again forgot to chase after his nemesis, Dib. He had not been home longer than a minute before there was a knock at the door. Upon further inspection, he was surprised to see that the intruder on his premises was none other than Tak. He cracked the door open and peered out at his visitor.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Zim let me inside. I have a matter of some importance to discuss with you." Reluctantly, Zim eased the door open enough for entry. Tak entered his home and Zim closed the door behind her. When he turned around, he was astonished to see she had shed her disguise.  
  
"You're Irken."  
  
"Look, Zim, I need your help."  
  
"M..m..my help?" Zim managed to ask.  
  
"Yes. I want to take over this planet and I need to use your facilities. You will also be very beneficial in instilling fear in the hearts of many." The next few sentences that came out of Tak's mouth went directly over his head.  
  
'She needs my help. She wants MY help. Wow, I never thought someone could actually want me to help them do anything, but she just said it. I am so happy right now.' Zim stared at her in bewilderment as her words began to phase back into his thoughts.  
  
"...and an electrical incident caused a blackout of half the planet of Devastis."  
  
'Oh yeah' Zim thought as he flashed back to that particular incident.  
  
Zim stood in front of an Irken who was at least two feet taller than himself. The Irken's eyes were wide with shock.  
  
"Huh? What was that?" Of course his captive couldn't reply for a gag was bound tightly around his mouth, in fact, the Irken was bound and suspended over a small electrical beam. "You wanted to say you were sorry for demanding that I carry your gear because I was a... now let me see... he did you word it? Oh yes, an insignificant undersized inferior to yourself. You see, individuals like you are the very reason why I do this. When will you learn that your opinions are just that, yours, and are best kept to yourself? Why would you say such demeaning things anyway? Are you so insecure that the only way to reassure yourself is to pick on those less fortunate than you?" Zim snickered as his prey. "Now you get to learn a real lesson, not one that they teach you at these learning facilities." The grin on Zim's face widened considerably as he pressed a combination of buttons on the panel before him. The Irken was thrust into the beam. "Shocking isn't it?" Zim flicked a few more switches, causing the beam to pulse with energy. Eerie laughter echoed through the room; Zim was immensely enjoying this. It took only seconds for Zim's prey to be incinerated in the beam. The power surged uncontrollably and suddenly died out. The room was encased in darkness as the laughter came to an end.  
  
"I tried to negotiate with the control brain, but my requests were denied. I was forced to work in telemarketing for the next fifty-eight years. Luckily, I managed to escape my judgment and make it here. I wish to take over the planet to prove myself, but I lack the resources to do this on my own. That's where you come in. So, will you help me?" Zim had been grinning as he relived the memory. He suddenly snapped out of his daze at the raising of this question.  
  
"I'm afraid not." Zim replied with much apathy in his voice.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Although you have expressed that you genuinely want my help and have not concerned my height in your decision, your motives are fucked up. You want to impress the tallest for recognition and that means that you support their views, which I can't say I particularly like. You have made me happy though and that is amazing." Zim walked to the kitchen, and retrieved two large knives before returning to the stunned Tak. Too stupefied to react, she simply stood there trying to regain her composure. "I really like you, but I cannot let you live. It's better to kill you now and keep the notion that not everyone considers me worthless than to give you time to change your opinion, or maybe you really don't give a damn about me. If that is the case, I'd rather just kill you and remain ignorant to that fact. I hope this doesn't affect the way you feel about me."  
  
"No... You don't have to kill me... I was just leaving and..." Zim immediately lashed out with his blades. Tak took no time in extending her arachnid-like mechanical legs and hoisting herself into the air. Zim, lacking such luxuries as a back pod, was unable to reach his intended victim. Tak used her leverage to place a swift kick to the side of Zim's head. She followed this up with a sharp jab from one of the expanded legs. This sent Zim sprawling into a wall. He weakly crumpled to the floor as Tak reapplied her holographic disguise and opened the front door. "You really are crazy." Tak made a swift getaway, leaving Zim to bleed on the floor of his living room.  
  
"That's just great Z." Psycho Mooseboy rang out. "She got to this planet somehow. You could have used her ship to get away from here." Zim made a weak attempt to move his head.  
  
"F..fook."  
  
"You can say that again, she beat the shit outta you!" Mr. Pork said in his oddly happy way.  
  
Dib spied in the window of Zim's home. He had seen it all and now knew that Tak was an alien. The display had done nothing more than affirm his suspicions that Zim was insane and now he stared at the unmoving body that lay crumpled on the floor secreting a light green substance that Dib concluded must be alien blood. The body remained motionless.  
  
'This is my chance to capture him.' Dib thought as he slowly entered through the window, which had not been boarded up as well as some of its counterparts. He looked upon the body. To his surprise, the alien moved its head to the side and uttered a barely audible expletive. Fearing for his life, the boy froze and watched as the alien seemed to be listening to something, but he couldn't be sure.  
  
Zim tried to ease himself up, collapsing under his own weight. Dib didn't dare move for fear of detection. Zim was finally able to muster enough strength to pull himself to his knees. With double vision, Zim surveyed the room until his gaze landed on a form that didn't seem to belong. Dib was spotted.  
  
"You" Zim said with a raspy voice. His features contorted to show his aggression. Using all of his energy, Zim lashed out at the terrified child. The sudden movement sent Dib into a panic and he leapt out the window without a second's delay. Zim was in no shape to follow. His overexertion left him face down on the floor. After at least two minutes of resting, Zim painfully sat up, supporting his weight with an arm. He brought his free hand up and curled it into a fist.  
  
"I'll get you Dib."  
  
END  
  
Review time! Tell me what cha think so far! Got any ideas for where I should go next? I like these stories that seemingly write themselves. Oh well, I'll chat more when the next part is up. For now, just remember... big explosions are always fun! Chao!  
  
Completed at 5:13am. 


	7. Rain rain go away come again another day

Guess what? BIRTHDAY FUN!!! This might be a little short... kuz I'm preoccupied with turning eighteen. Understandable? Huh, huh? Anyway so here's another installment of some stuff I write that I can't claim as my own because it's not. It belongs to Jhnen Vasquez... yeah you know him... he likes to murder vowels...  
  
Zim the hoMicIdAl IrkEn part 7  
  
Dib made it back to his house after the close encounter. He flung open the door and ran to the sofa where his sister was perched, watching a television show on animal attacks and eating pizza.  
  
"Gaz... I'm scared."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Tak's an alien too."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Zim tried to kill her because he's crazy."  
  
"Look Dib, I am very busy right now and Zim was over here a few days ago. You know, just because someone wants to kill you is no reason to call them a murderer. Lots of people want to kill you; I'm one of them."  
  
"What?! Zim was here? What did he do Gaz? Tell me!"  
  
"Will you go away?"  
  
Dib nodded an agreement seeing that this was the only way to get the information out of his sister without losing his life in the process, however cryptic it may be.  
  
"He came over, got grossed out by a movie and left."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
"Go away Dib."  
  
"He didn't snoop around; try to plant booby traps or anything like that?"  
  
"If you want to die in the next fifteen seconds, stand right where you are and keep talking." Gaz growled at her disobedient brother. Dib exited the living room quickly and retreated to the safety of his room.  
  
Meanwhile, in another part of the town, we see the little boy who had discovered the dead Dirge and Keef. He walks up to a door labeled Dr. Rhodes, Psychiatry. He opens the door with his little nubby fingers and walks in, sitting at a leather chair in front of a huge mahogany desk. The room is empty except for him. Suddenly, he hears a tapping coming from the window of the business building. He gets up slowly, holding Shmee close to his body and peeks through the closed blinds that cover the window. On the other side of the window stands a man wearing a plaid button up shirt tucked into a pair of khakis. The man grins at the little boy and motions for him to open the window.  
  
"What should I do Shmee?" He looks down at the bear. "I'll let him in. I wouldn't want to be stuck outside of a fifth floor window." He pulls up on the blinds and opens the window for the man to come in.  
  
"Hi little boy, what's your name?" the man says while taking a seat on the sill of the window.  
  
"My name's Todd. What were you doing out there?" he says while pointing a finger at the window.  
  
"Oh that..." The man looks over his shoulder. "I was going to jump!" he said a little too happily. Todd let out a tiny little squee of a gasp. "But I'm not anymore, nope! That doctor in the room next to this one says I have mood swings. Of all the silly diagnoses in the world... Mood swings, heh heh heh. I waited until he left the room and I went out the window. But once I decided not to take the plunge, I had gotten locked out there." He looks down at Todd. "What are you in for? Tell me now." His voice has lost its perky edge.  
  
"I saw dead people. They were cut up and their insides were on the outside. It was spooky."  
  
"Really? Well good for you ya little brat. You're life is all trouble free, maybe I should throw you out this window, then you would know what it's like to have problems! Yes then you'd know! Then you'd know!!" Todd's scared now.  
  
"No! Don't throw me out the window! I didn't even do anything to you!" Todd backs away from the man who is slowly advancing on him. He is holding Shmee so tight that one of the bear's stitches pops and some stuffing falls out onto the floor.  
  
"Shmee?!" Todd looks down at his over-loved teddy bear as the man continues his pursuit forward. Just then, another man opens the door to the room.  
  
"There you are! I was looking for you. What are you about to do to that little boy?" This is obviously a psychiatrist.  
  
"Oh God no! What have I done? What have I done?!" The man screams in total realization of the act for which he was about to partake and leaps from the window that was conveniently left open. Squee stares in shock. The doctor walks over to the window and peers out. The jumper is nothing more than a smidgen on the street five floors down.  
  
"Damn, there goes another one! That's the third patient I've lost this week! Oh well." He turns to leave. "Wait right there kid. I'll get your shrink in here." He walks to the door and looks at the nameplate on it. "Oh hey that's me!" He laughs lightheartedly and turns back around. Todd squeaks.  
  
The End  
  
Zim had long since gotten himself off the ground and was now lying on the couch, trying to fend off unconsciousness.  
  
"There is no way I am letting massive head trauma put me to sleep" he says while rubbing his temples.  
  
"You really don't look to well Z. Maybe you should just go ahead and finish yourself off" Mooseboy offered.  
  
"No, don't listen to him. He wants you to let that girl win. You're better than she is. Why don't you feed her to the wall?" requested Mr. Pork.  
  
"The wall!" Zim shot up suddenly regretting the action. "I forgot about the damn thing."  
  
"Don't hurry. No, wait. Maybe you should hurry. Yes go to it quickly. In your state you might pass out and fall down one of those flights of stairs and really hurt yourself." Zim merely looked at Psycho Mooseboy. His head was spinning and he was surprised that he could even focus at this point.  
  
"You want me to die that badly?"  
  
"Yes he does! He doesn't want you to have any fun Z. Don't listen to the moose!" Mr. Pork said.  
  
"But, come to think of it... I haven't had any fun. Not even when killing all those people who deserved it. Joy, happiness, it's all one big façade covering up how I really feel inside. I don't feel any of that. All I feel is dejection."  
  
"All the more reason for you to end it! Quickly, maybe you can turn yourself in to that measly paranormalist next door. I'm sure he can think of many ways to help you with your little predicament." Mooseboy's words stirred up hatred in Zim's heart and he glared to the window where the boy had escaped.  
  
"No that would make him happy." A little grin played its way across Zim's face. "I know why I've been so upset. It's him! I've been trying to kill the little jerk ever since I came to this rock but something always comes up. But that's okay. He can't stop me from what I'm going to do to him tomorrow. After skool, I'll catch him, bring him home and..."  
  
"And feed him to the wall?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Does this mean you're not going to kill yourself?" Asked Mooseboy.  
  
"Yup!" Zim said as he grinned evilly.  
  
"Damn."  
  
The next day, Dib woke up to a commotion outside. He yawned lazily and walked to his window and peered out. Torrents of rain came pouring down to earth.  
  
"Great. It's raining! I hope it doesn't keep this up all day." Dib went about preparing for skool secretly hoping he wouldn't have to walk there in the rain. By the time he had gotten ready, the shower had stopped for the moment. He looked over at his sister who was gazing out the front window with a look of pure hatred on her face.  
  
"It stopped. Why'd it have to stop!" she growled to herself. Dib sighed as he opened the door and left, his sister following behind.  
  
Zim had been watching the precipitation from his window, a look of nervousness on his face.  
  
"What do you think it is Naildoggy?"  
  
"I'm not sure Z."  
  
"Oh, so you're calling me that too now." Zim sighed. "As much as I like the whole darkness during the day thing with the occasional lights, I have this gut feeling in my squeedly spooch that something about it is bad."  
  
"It is a little unsettling isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah." He watched it until it turned to a slight drizzle and slowly tapered off. After a few more minutes of waiting, it had stopped completely and the sun broke through the dark clouds. Another sigh marked his departure to the skool. He stepped outside his house only to see the Dib and his sister making their way past his home.  
  
"You again" Zim said while glaring at his nemesis. Dib looked a little apprehensive.  
  
'Wait, he's the alien scum here. I don't need to be scared of him!' Dib quickly turned to glower at Zim who was letting his attention fall on the little puddles of the clear substance that had seemingly gathered in any place that would hold it.  
  
"What's the matter Zim? Scared of a little rain water?" Zim reverted his attention back to Dib.  
  
"I'm going to catch you today. I just wanted to give you fair warning. You've been such a thorn in my side since I came here. I will enjoy cutting you into pieces." Dib's eyes went wide.  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"As a matter of fact," Zim said while reaching a hand into his pocket. "I see no real reason to wait." Zim pulled out a rather small knife and grinned at Dib before leaping.  
  
"Aaah!" Dib immediately broke out into a run. "Help me Gaz!" Gaz had never stopped and was by this time far down the street. Zim ran and went to turn from his walk onto the sidewalk, but slid in a puddle and fell on his side. A searing hot pain invaded his senses as he looked down to see the fluid coating him. He gritted his teeth hard in an attempt not to scream, but he could not withhold his pain and let out a shriek as his flesh began to smoke. Dib stopped in his gait and turned back around to see the screaming extraterrestrial.  
  
"Look Gaz! Water hurts him! Gaz?" He looked behind himself to see she had once again ignored her surroundings and was continuing on her way to skool. He hurried to catch up.  
  
Zim winced as he pulled himself up off the ground and inspected his injury. 'I get beaten up one day and burned alive the next. This week has been fun.' He thought as he walked towards the school.  
  
END  
  
Ok... so it didn't end up being extremely short. Anyway, I wonder if the rain is going to affect Zim's capturing and torture of Dib... oh wait I'm the author here... I already know the answer to that. And wow did that little squee story start to take over up there or what? Anyway... just for shits and giggles or whatever, I'd like to make a request. If you are reading this story could you please leave a review... you don't even have to write anything... I just wanna do a bit of a census on how many people are reading this. OOOH! And I wanna thank all the people who put my story on their favs list. I consider that a REAL honor so thank you all! And thank you readers and reviewers... I go clubbin' now that I am of legal age... BYE!!!  
  
Completed at 2:12pm(I know I'm scared too) 


	8. Pain and Rain

I'm back with moooooore! Alright... here's my next chapter... I own very little. I do not own many things... this includes Invader Zim. *points at Jhonen* he's your man...  
  
*announcement* Thank God for my new Canon CanoScan LiDE20... that's right I finally broke down and got a scanner. which means you people finally get to see them pics... they are @ www.geocities.com/Lizzy733/art.html yes.. laugh at my using geocities... and if it isn't there. blame the pagebuilder... because it is the devil and hates me... ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
Zim the HomICidAl iRkEn part 8 (I'm starting to get obsessive with those crazy letters...)  
  
During the skool day, it rained off and on, which set Zim on ends. All the students were present except for Tak. She seemed to have mysteriously disappeared overnight. No one really knew of her whereabouts but Mrs. Bitters insisted that she had discovered the bleakness of life and had doomed herself to eternal isolation in her growing paranoia. Zim was beginning to believe that attacking Tak was a bad thing to do.  
  
'She did want to serve the empire but she also wanted my help. Why did she want my help; was it because I'm like her? She didn't really seem all that bad. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to kill her. She is the only other Irken on the planet and I'll probably never see her or get to talk to her again. I'm all alone here again. Fook! Why do I have to go and mess everything up?' A tapping sound that had become all too familiar in the past few hours presented itself once more. Zim looked to the window to see the translucent fluid cascade off the tin roof of the building. He involuntarily shuddered, a shudder which brought a mocking grin to the face of his enemy. He looked over at the offending child. 'Fuck this water stuff! It's not going to keep me from killing you. I don't care if I'm half melted into a puddle of goo; you're going to die.'  
  
Just then, the dismissal bell rang and the children ran out into the acid- like rain. It was beyond Zim how they could find amusement in such an abysmal substance. Dib left the classroom rather quickly and waited under the walk for his sister to appear. He was in no hurry to get his throat slit and was intent on making it half way home before the rain stopped. Surely Zim wouldn't attack him in the rain.  
  
"Come on Gaz" he said as his sibling exited the building with an uncharacteristic smirk on her face.  
  
"What are you so eager about?" she asked.  
  
"Not eager Gaz, nervous. You saw him try to kill me this morning." She glared at him for a moment before opening her umbrella and walking off the pavilion. He followed her, sharing the covering. It was at this point that Zim decided to appear from the skool building.  
  
"Ha Zim! You can't get me now!" he teased. Zim looked at the rain with apprehension for a moment before shaking the offending feeling away. He glared at his enemy with a smirk on his face. Dib paused for a second to stare at the loony. Zim braced himself and leapt into the rain.  
  
"Aaah!" Dib turned and rushed off quickly, a smoldering Zim on his heels. Zim bit down hard on his lip to keep from screaming out. He was writhing pain at the moment and didn't want to show this malady. It wasn't long before he broke the skin of his lip and blood began to seep into his mouth. He tried to ignore the pain and focus on his subject, but that was a difficult task.  
  
Dib ran as hard as he possibly could. He didn't have to look behind himself to know that Zim was right on his heels. He created another crisscrossed pattern for his pursuer but this time the rain betrayed him. As he ran across some pavement, the slick surface caused him to falter. He fell onto the hard roadway. Zim was on him in an instant.  
  
Seeing his fallen foe, Zim took this as his chance. He saw Dib try to pull himself up so he sent his booted foot into the boy's skull. Dib's head was flung forward into the concrete upon impact. He now lay unconscious, a small amount of blood seeping from a fresh wound. Zim snatched up his enemy and pulled him to a nearby covering. Once out of the rain, Zim let out a shaky breath. Not only was he tired from the pursuit, but his skin was simply crawling. He weakly came to a sitting position beside the unconscious boy as his flesh stopped smoking. He tasted the blood that had filled his mouth through the broken lip and immediately spat it out.  
  
"I'll wait for it to stop" he said to no one in particular. Zim looked down at his catch. 'I caught him! I really caught him this time!' "You're not getting away" he said through gasps as he averted his gaze to the dwindling rain.  
  
It wasn't long before the rain let up and Zim was able to carry his quarry home and secure him in a room under lock and key. He looked at the shackled boy for another moment before leaving the room.  
  
'I'll take care of you later. Right now, I feel like shit.' Zim slowly made his way back upstairs.  
  
"Yay you got him! Now go kill him!" Mr. Pork rang out happily.  
  
"Not right now... I'm in no physical or mental condition to give him a proper torturing and besides, I'd much rather wait for him to wake up. It would be a shame for him to sleep right through it after I put so much effort into his capture."  
  
"Now that you have him, you really don't have any purpose... no real reason for going on. Do you see what I'm getting at? You might as well kill yourself now while you're in a good mood. Procrastination is not something you should make a habit of." Psycho Mooseboy insisted. "That and you look bad... I mean really bad. You look like someone ran you over."  
  
"Oh..." Zim looked down at his wounded skin. "That was that rain stuff. It burns the shit out of me."  
  
"Here's an idea! You could just go and stand out in the rain and let it wash all of your problems away."  
  
"You really shouldn't listen to them Z. They're using you and when they're done, they'll just throw you away!" Naildoggy piped in.  
  
"You?" asked Mooseboy.  
  
"I thought we'd taught you about messing with our poor boy's head!" added Pork as Zim found a seat on the couch.  
  
"You're the only ones messing with his head!"  
  
"Z, don't listen to that mutt" cried Pork. "He doesn't care about what you want."  
  
"Or need." Mooseboy filled in.  
  
"Well, Naildoggy has been pretty honest to me..." Zim started.  
  
"Nonsense; go away you maggot infested mongrel! Z doesn't want your advice anymore!" At Pork's insistence, Naildoggy was suddenly gone. Zim blinked.  
  
"Where'd he go?" he asked while looking around perplexed.  
  
"I don't care as long as he doesn't come back any time soon. Good show Pork!" Zim looked at the space where Naildoggy once was.  
  
"I hope he does." Zim muttered as he pulled his legs into his chest.  
  
"What was that Z?"  
  
"Nothing... I just said I need a little time to recuperate." He watched as Pork and Mooseboy congratulated each other on their win over Naildoggy. 'Surprising that they'd agree on anything. Maybe they're right. Maybe Naildoggy really was bad, but it didn't seem like that. I'm so fucking confused.'  
  
About twelve floors below the strange house, Dib was slowly beginning to regain consciousness.  
  
"Ow" he stated as he opened his eyes. He only saw darkness; Dib couldn't even make out the size of the room he was in for the darkness. 'I'm caught! I'm caught! I'm caught!' The thought cycled over and over in his mind. He felt the cold shackles on his wrists and ankles. He tried to stand, but a massive headache proved to be a big hindrance. Dib brought a hand to his forehead and felt blood. "Hello?" The word echoed off the walls.  
  
'It's so dark in here. There has to be a way out. This can't be the end. It just can't! I've got to get out of here. Where is he? Maybe he's just going to leave me here to die. No, he wouldn't do that. He said he was going to torture me.' That train of thought sent a shiver through his body. "Come on Dib, you can make it through this! You just have to find a way out of here." He tried to pull his hands from the shackles, but they were extremely tight. Next, he felt around for a wall, but couldn't come across one. 'Well I have to be chained to something.' He followed the chains that bound him to their source. This happened to be a fixture in the floor. He felt around it for any kind of locking mechanism or fastening, but could find none.  
  
"Great!" he said while giving up for the moment. Zim was in control and he knew it. He would simply have to wait on Zim's next move... whatever that was.  
  
END  
  
Wow! That was uncharacteristically short, but I like the hanging end. Of course, it's not THE end... no... I have no idea when that's going to come. This thing is writing itself and wow am I in need of some gore. I need to stop kicking Zim's ass. Why do I always torture the characters I love? Hmm... must be tough love I guess. Oh well... read this and watch me continue to mentally and physically stress out the main characters because I must be obsessed or something. Well chao for now! And... REVIEW!!! please?  
  
Completed at 2:58pm (alright! I really should be unconscious at this time due to sleep deprivation, but I'm not. I need to return to my night- owlness... this is really starting to worry me) 


	9. Dibby Dib doom night

I gots requests for Dib torture and here it is... that, and I really needed some gore... and this was my way of getting some in here. My lack of ownership of any and all things Jhonen depresses me... at least I have a handful of comics and many Zim episodes in the memory banks of my pc.  
  
Zim the HomIciDaL IrKeN part 9  
  
Zim gave himself plenty of time to rest. By the time he was ready to begin the 'educating' of his catch, it was after 3am. Dib had somehow been able to fall asleep during the night in spite of his situation. The knowledge of this really disheartened Zim.  
  
'I really don't want to have to wait any longer. I'll wake him...'  
  
"Wait!" The outburst startled Zim and he spun away from the window in the cell-like room's door.  
  
"Naildoggy, you came back!" Zim eagerly looked at his returning companion.  
  
"I couldn't leave before telling you... Z, the other voices..."  
  
"Mr. Pork and Psycho Mooseboy?"  
  
"Yes, they're not the same anymore."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"They're aware now, something is controlling them. They aren't a part of you anymore."  
  
"What? You mean..."  
  
"They're using you Z. Please don't listen to them."  
  
"But I can either do one thing or the other. Either I'm following Mr. Pork or Mooseboy. There doesn't seem to be a go between."  
  
"There is! And this is it... don't hurt that boy in there. I know he did things to you, but just forget about all that. Let him go and look for help. You can get better."  
  
"Better? In order for someone to 'get better' they first have to have something wrong with them. Are you insinuating that there is something wrong with me?"  
  
"You know there is!"  
  
"No! I'm in control! You're wrong! They say you're the only one that's using me! They would tell me if something was wrong! They would!"  
  
"Don't you see? That's what they want you to think! You used to be different, remember? You were happy; you didn't need to kill and you still don't."  
  
"I know there was a time when I didn't kill, but it's all foggy. I can't remember anything else. All I can remember is the killing. It's a part of me and one of the only things that brings me pleasure anymore so go away!"  
  
"They robbed it from you! They are the reason you don't remember."  
  
"Just go!" Zim shut his eyes tightly as tears slowly streaked down his face. When he opened them again, Naildoggy was nowhere to be seen. Zim sniffled slightly and looked around at the deserted walkway. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked back to the room holding Dib. He inhaled deeply.  
  
"Time to do something I want to do."  
  
  
  
Zim flipped a switch on the dark walls of the room Dib was being held in. A small light above Dib illuminated the area around him. Dib was lying on the floor in the center of the room, fast asleep.  
  
"Rise and shine!" Zim spoke enthusiastically. Dib slowly began to stir from his rest. At first, he had convinced himself that the events of his last awakening had been nothing more than part of an elaborate nightmare, but the cold floor and tight restraints reinforced his reality. He blinked slightly in the offending light. Once his eyes focused, he was able to make out the room's dimensions. The walls couldn't have been more than three feet out of his reach. The light did well to illuminate his circle of entrapment, but did little to show the walls. Dib speculated that they must have been some deep shade of purple.  
  
"Zim?" 'Stupid, of course it's Zim. Who else would it be?'  
  
"I'm so glad you're awake. Now we get to have some fun! And seeing as we are the only ones in this room right now, why don't you call me Z? (subliminal *cough* message *cough*)" Zim stepped out of the shadowed walls with his hands clasped behind his back. Dib could see him clearly without his disguise. He hadn't noticed how menacingly evil his eyes could be.  
  
"Z? (*mumbled* subliminalmessage)Well that's stupid!" Zim's eye twitched slightly as he gazed at the boy. He soon shook of his feelings of angst and reclaimed his witty smirk.  
  
"I'm not going to let your comments ruin what is most definitely going to put me into a good mood. They seem so few and far between these days."  
  
"What you're doing... this is crazy! You're going to get caught! My dad will come looking for me and I'll make sure they do horrible experiments on you!" Dib thought about that. His dad would probably be overly disturbed by his absence, but, by the time he noticed, it would most likely be too late for him. Zim's eyes lit up like those of a child spying a toy that had sparked its interest.  
  
"What type of experiments would they do?" Zim brought his hands from behind his back, one clasping what looked like an ice pick. He fiddled with the instrument while addressing his guest. "Of course these 'experiments' would keep the specimen alive for the longest possible amount of time as to ensure they feel excruciating pain right?"  
  
"Yeah... Wait!" It finally donned on the paranormalist why his enemy would want to know about the non-lethal implements of experimentation. "No! You are not going to do experiments on me!" Dib looked frantically to his torturer.  
  
"You know, I leaned something very interesting last weekend. It seems there are several organs the human body can survive without." Dib's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened.  
  
"Holy fucking shit!" Zim smirked as he tossed the ice pick away and leapt onto poor Dib, pinning him to the ground. Dib tried to struggle up, but the lanky alien had the upper hand.  
  
"Now let's see..." Zim drew a scalpel from his pocket and twiddled it in his fingers like a pen. "I know it's called a kidney..." he thought deeply. "But the bad part is... I don't have a fucking clue which one it is." He looked down at Dib who had not ceased his protest. "You humans really should know more about your own anatomy. Oh well, on with the cutting!"  
  
"No! Aaah!" Zim used his leverage to keep Dib from squirming as he lifted up the boy's shirt and held the knife to his belly. Dib continued an incessant yelling. Zim's antennae fell flat to his head and he glared at Dib.  
  
"You're really loud seeing as I haven't even done anything to you yet." Dib let up on his shouts and whimpered pitifully. Zim quirked an eyebrow. "That's better." He then brought his attention back to the task at hand. The expression on his face was one of deep pondering. 'Here... or here?' He moved the blade from one location to the next. The suspense was killing Dib and sweat began to trickle its way down his face. Zim shrugged and finally decided on a cutting technique. He dug the blade in just below Dib's rib cage and to the right.  
  
"Aaaah!" Dib let out the shrill cry as he ceased to struggle. It was no use; escape seemed to be futile. Zim stuck his segmented tongue out as he concentrated on working the blade down several inches, enlarging the wound. He then thrust his gloved hand into the gaping hole. Dib's body shuddered away involuntarily and his screams of pain filled the room.  
  
"Hmm... this one? No, that's moving too much." Zim continued his hunt for the appropriate organ. "Nope... nope... nope... nope..." Zim was seemingly digging in the boy's body at this point and Dib's intestines were protruding from the cut. "I guess I'll just get this one." He then skillfully brought the blade into the gap with his other hand and used it to sever the connections the organ held with its body. Dib's entire body was shaking with fear and pain. Zim extracted the organ triumphantly and looked down at the boy who was racked with pain.  
  
"You should be lucky; I think I actually got the right one." Zim brought his gaze to the puncture. The crimson fluid oozed from the open wound which had some appendages hanging out of it. Blood mixed with sweat seeped its way into a drain in the floor. He shook his head. "I should do something about that. I wouldn't want you to die of an infection or blood loss." Zim decided that it would be the cordial thing to do anyway. He stuffed the organs back in place and produced a needle and thread. Carefully, or at least what would be carefully for him, Zim stitched the skin together. Every time the needle penetrated Dib's flesh, a spasm of new pain flooded his already overwhelmed system. Dib stared blankly at the light above him. His mind was numb to anything but the pain. It was there incessantly; a common reminder of the situation he was in. He thought he would faint; unconsciousness would have been a welcomed escape from his current reality, but no such release was available. He seemed to be beyond sleeping. With the final stitch in place, Zim stood up to admire his handiwork.  
  
"That should do to keep you alive..." Zim's gaze fell upon the extricated organ. "Unless I took out the wrong organ." Zim looked back to the unresponsive Dib. "That was fun. I hope you don't die. It would be a real shame; there's so much more I can do..." Zim looked at the organ again. "I should really keep that as a souvenir just in case you do die... I'm going to put it in a jar!" Zim giggled giddily and sprang out of the room with glee.  
  
Dib lay there for what seemed like an eternity. It appeared as though all higher brain functions had been taken over by the pain, but, as adrenaline began to take effect, the ache slowly subsided to a bearable throbbing. His mind worked its way out of the shock and began to allow him to think. At first his thoughts were nothing but simple sentences, sounding themselves over and over. 'I'm going to die.' These soon began to contort into something that would be considered logical thinking. 'I'm going to die alone in this room. No one will ever know. Will they care?' Finally, Dib's mind caught up to him and he was able to truly assess the situation.  
  
Dib found the strength to bring his head up and look at his stomach. The crudely placed stitches served their purpose and held the abrasion shut. The clotting feature of blood had encased it in the crusty red substance. All at once, Dib began to take control of his senses. This brought the smell of copper to his attention. He let his head fall back to the floor, surprised that it hadn't splashed into a puddle of his blood, but the room seemed to have a runoff.  
  
'I can't move' he thought. 'If I do, I could pull one of these stitches and that would be bad.' Even thought they had been extremely amateur, Dib was grateful for the sutures. 'I hope I don't die.' The realization that he could actually die here clicked in his oversized head. He groaned as he continued to lay, unmoving on the cold and offending floor; hoping for sleep, but not for fear that he wouldn't wake up.  
  
END  
  
Alright... first of all... I'd like to say that I know very little about organ extrications, so if I am inaccurate in any way know that I am no doctor and do not plan to be one... at least not one that works with human bodies... Anyway... I know if Dib survives this whole ordeal... and you don't! Muahahahahahahaha(is letting the power go to her head again)hahahahahahaha! And I am back on my usual sleep schedule! Be proud of me! Now Review!  
  
Completed at 2:59am (that's more like it!) 


	10. More Evil Ness

Here's a new one... alright. first of all I should tell you that those pics are no longer on geocities.. their new home is at lizzy733.batcave.net/art.html Yay for me! I have broken free of geocities.. they could no longer contain that awesome force that is me!! Anyway... at this point I usually insert my disclaimer... and you should know by now that I don't own this stuff... so... I don't... K... fic time...  
  
Zim the HomicIdAL iRkEn pt10 (I'm in the double digits... don't get scared now.)  
  
Zim sat on the floor in deep contemplation, staring at the telephone which sat idly on his drawing desk. Another moment of silence passed before he decided to stand and reach for the handset. After punching in a few numbers, he held the receiver to his head and waited for the recipient to pick up.  
  
"Hello?" he asked calmly. "I was wondering if you could give me the phone number of a student there... named Tak?" Zim shifted slightly. "I know she doesn't go to the skool anymore, but could you please give me the number?" On the other end of the conversation, an extremely jaded young woman sat in a swiveling chair and drummed her fingers across the desktop. She sighed.  
  
"If I give you the number, do you promise that you will never call this number again?" she glanced over at the rolodex which was sitting not six inches from her hand. Zim fell silent for a moment.  
  
"Yes" came his reply. She yawned into the handset and thumbed through the list of names and numbers.  
  
"Here it is... Tak...601 Shady Lane... the phone number is 555-3972." a sigh of fatigue escaped the lady's lips as there was another pause from the other end.  
  
"Thank you." Zim immediately hung up the phone and picked it up again... dialing the number he had just received. The ringer went off several times and Zim was about to hang up. Just then, Tak picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?" she said, seeming miserably paranoid.  
  
"Tak? It's Zim..." Before he was able to get another word out, a slew of comments came from the other end of the handset.  
  
"Zim? How dare you... how did you get this number anyway? Never mind, if you call it again I will do something completely horrible to you! Do you understand? Never call this number!"  
  
"But I just wanted to apologize for trying to ki..."  
  
"I don't care! Don't call!" With that said, Tak slammed the phone down. Zim slowly returned the phone to its place and walked over to the couch, sliding into a lounging position.  
  
"What's the matter Z? (mhm.) I thought you were happy. You caught that Dib thing and you were about to feed it to the wall..." Zim cocked a brow at Pork.  
  
"I never said I was feeding him to the wall, but what's really on my mind is Tak. I tried to call her to say I was sorry, but I think I only made her mad."  
  
"I've got an idea! Why don't you go take it out on the Dib?" Zim smirks as he contemplates the idea.  
  
"That would be fun, but I've messed with him enough already... I'm not really sure how much pain he can take..."  
  
"Why don't you go check on him? He might already be dead. If he is, you can feed him to the wall."  
  
"Why are you so obsessed with that damn wall?" Pork merely shrugs. "Alright, but if he's dead I am not feeding him to the wall." Zim got up to walk away.  
  
"Are you sure you won't just." but Zim had gone back down the stairs. He made it to the first level and looked at the blank screen. Zim sighed as he turned away and walked down the next flight of stairs. He reached a long corridor and paused. He looked around tensely. For some reason, he was certain in his mind that Mooseboy and Pork were not present.  
  
"Naildoggy?" Zim asked edgily. There was no response. Zim couldn't think of another time he'd felt so alone. "Pease" he asked, still hopeful for a reply. A hot tear slid down Zim's face and he glared around himself. "You've got to be there, now where are you? Answer me!" All his shouting was in vain. Zim allowed himself to slide down the wall into a sitting position on the floor.  
  
Meanwhile, in a boy's room, we see Iggins sitting on his bed, immersed in the newest import from Japan. He looks up from his game and realizes *shock* there's a mallet in the corner of his room.  
  
"Wow!" he exclaims. "That's just like the Gron Hammer in the Warlords of Wraith import from Europe version 1.6!" He looks at the mallet with interest, this is when he realizes there is a fluffy purple chipmunk hopping in his window.  
  
"Hi! I'm from the perky valley. Do you want to come with me to the perky valley? It's bright and shiny like a spoon!"  
  
"Uhm...okay!" Iggins follows the chipmunk back out the window. Once there, Iggins takes in his surroundings. "Hey! That creature thing looks like one of the kitten zombies from the Pet Graveyard Second Edition Final Cut!" Iggins leaps into the air with a disturbing laugh and slams the mallet down on the kitty creature's little fuzzy head. All he creatures of the valley pause. Iggins grins insanely...  
  
BACK TO THE STORY!!  
  
Dib awoke. His right side throbbed because of what was most likely an infected wound. He somehow found the willpower to prop himself up with his arms.  
  
"I'm not dead!" he exclaimed suddenly. "Zim must have taken out the right organ." A long pause followed as Dib looked around the room again. "That's good... I guess." Really, this wasn't that good. He was worse off than he had been originally. Now, not only was he trapped in the lair of a mentally disturbed alien, but he was also seriously injured. But in Dib's mind not dying was a plus. He winced as he looked down at his abrasion. Again, Dib was stuck with waiting; waiting on Zim to decide what would happen next. He suddenly heard what sounded like a muffled shout coming from outside the room. Dib pondered to himself whether that had been Zim or another one of his captives. A sudden movement caught his eye and he looked towards the shadowed walls.  
  
"What was that?" he said aloud. "A rat?" Dib squinted and looked into the shadows. Zim could have been hiding behind that veil of darkness and Dib wouldn't have noticed, but as he strained to look, he decided that he was alone in the room... except for that rat. Dib lay back down, seeing as his position was only causing him discomfort, and waited.  
  
Zim's solitude was interrupted by a bloodcurdling shriek.  
  
"The rats! The rats!!" Zim stood and looked off in the direction of the desperate cry. He wiped a tear from his cheek and put his thoughts from earlier behind him.  
  
'Hmm... am I neglecting my other guests? I suppose I am showing a little favoritism. Maybe I should be checking on jock number five down the hall. I haven't heard anything from him in about three days. Maybe he's dead.' Zim couldn't completely divert his thoughts from the silent Naildoggy.  
  
"Damn mutt"  
  
"Aww... poor Z. Nobody wants to be around him anymore." The voice started Zim. He had never known the other voices to follow him down here before.  
  
"That's not true Mooseboy!"  
  
"Oh, but it is. The Tallest, Tak..." Mooseboy stopped and looked at the dejected expression on Zim's face. He was vulnerable. "Naildoggy?"  
  
"Shut up!" Zim yelled at the moose.  
  
"Honestly Z, this self loathing of yours is pitiful. You should just kill yourself and be done with it." Zim found himself back on the floor as a new tear streaked his face.  
  
"I don't want to die."  
  
"Nobody wants to die Z. Some people just need it." Zim shook his head.  
  
"No"  
  
"Oh yes. You know, I heard that it's supposed to rain tonight. Nobody would miss you at skool tomorrow."  
  
"No, no, NO! Naildoggy was right! You're trying to control me, but not anymore." Zim glared at the offending piece of plastic.  
  
"What are you going to do Z? (*cough*) We're not weak like that mongrel. You can't get rid of us like that. We'll just come back. The only way to free yourself from us is by dying!"  
  
"Stop it!" Zim drew a concealed blade and held it in a striking pose. Mooseboy smiled a twisted grin.  
  
"Alright, I'll leave you alone... for now. But remember, there's only one real way to get rid of me." Mooseboy chuckled as he left Zim alone in the hallway.  
  
Zim looked down the corridor where Dib's room was. He shook his head. "I can't do this right now." He glanced at his surroundings. "Does nobody want me?"  
  
Back to the meanwhile!  
  
"IGGINS!!" he screams as he runs across our field of vision, mallet raised. Several fuzzy and puffy creatures of assorted pastel hues scramble for cover in the background.  
  
"Oh my God it's horrible!" shrieks a microspleenie.  
  
"Ack! My organs! My ORGANS!!" yells the incapacitated scoodgiewoogie.  
  
Iggins giggles as he discovers a manhole cover... SEWER ADVENTURE!!!  
  
BACK TO THE STORY!!  
  
Tak takes a tentative step out of her perfectly normal looking house.  
  
'Since that loony found out my phone number there's no telling what else he knows. He could be watching me right now.' She glanced around with paranoia. Since she had escaped to earth, she dared not return to the Irken empire. They could very easily send her back to telemarketing doom. Ever since that last time the caller had blown a fog horn into the receiver she had vowed she would never go back.  
  
Tak walked briskly down the street afraid that at any moment she could be confronted by Zim. She made it safely to her destination, the bookstore, and spent over an hour immersing herself in human culture. One she was sure she had spent enough time away from her base, she made the return trip. She couldn't help but look around warily.  
  
'Only a block away' thought Tak. 'So far so good.' She spoke too soon. Once she turned the corner, she found herself face to face with Zim.  
  
"Tak" Zim said a she came to a halt in front of him. She looked over his shoulder at her house and then back at him before turning and briskly walking in the opposite direction.  
  
"Wait! I just want to ask you one question!" he said while trying to catch up to her. She turned immediately, giving him a dangerous glare.  
  
"You have almost ensured my confinement to this planet and you tried to kill me! What is it?" she said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Can you not stand to be around me?" he asked tensely.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me! Yes Zim, I can't stand you! I don't want you calling me and I definitely don't want you coming to see me ever again!" Only after she blurted out her feelings did she begin to think of the consequences of insulting a killer. To her surprise, Zim didn't take that as an excuse to perform and autopsy on her.  
  
"Oh" he said hanging his head low. "Goodbye then." He walked off leaving Tak to her confusion. She immediately took the opportunity to get to the safety of her home base.  
  
Back to Meanwhile!  
  
"IGGINS!!!" *beat*smash*crush*squish*smoosh* "Oh wow! I bet I'll beat my all-time top score!"  
  
END  
  
And I'm spent... fun fun... Poor Zim's feeling all dejected. Do you think you know what's coming? Do you have any idea? Are you lost? Are you insane? (I like to think I am... most people would agree... but that could be because they are weird *shrugs*) I'd like to encourage you all to look on my website as this story is there and new updates will go there first... Hurray for carnage! Hurray for depression! And hurray for insomnia binges! Ooh.. and diminishing sanity... hurray for that too... now... REVIEW!!!  
  
Completed at 3:48am. 


	11. I've written in advance you'll see my ne...

I am bitch... hear me rant... (just skip on to the fic if you don't want to hear me make a lame ass attempt to explain myself)I'd like to say that Dib probably should have bit the big one last chapter due to severe blood loss, but for the sake of plot development and conflict, I just couldn't do it. I really wanted to exact upon him something that was horrendously painful and the only thing I could think of was an urban legend. And for some reason, Zim just seems to have this thing with extricating organs. (I really have no idea where that came from)I go into writing these things with little or no premeditation on what I'm going to do, although I do have some sort of a plot at this point... but most of the ideas that end up on paper are off the top of my head and have not been properly thought out. Well, Jhonen owns this stuff (not me!) so on with the fic...  
  
Zim the hOmiCidaL iRkeN part 11(k... they were cute when I started them.. but now they're getting annoying.)  
  
That day at skool, two students had been missing from Mrs. Bitters' classroom: Dib and Zim, Gaz thought about it for a moment as she left the grounds.  
  
'He must have really pissed Zim off yesterday. Maybe Zim did kill him.' She paused in her gait. 'No, I'm not that lucky.' Gaz continued her walk home unfazed by the thought that her one and only sibling could, at this very moment, be dying.  
  
Once she made it to her abode and entered, she was greeted by the annoying presence of a floating screen which substituted for the company of her father.  
  
"Gaz, where's your brother?" asked the obnoxious device. "I'm worried (*shock!*). He hasn't been home and he didn't go to skool today." The hovering machine said, stating the obvious.  
  
"Who cares?" The professor seemingly didn't hear her comment and continued.  
  
"I wouldn't let it bother me, but tonight is the unveiling of Super Toast and I need you both to attend. The media is interested in the progress of my test tube bab... I mean offspring." Gaz opened one eye to its full extent.  
  
"What was that last part?"  
  
"Anyway, find your brother and get him home. I'll see you both this evening." Before Gaz could launch a formal protest, the hovering view screen had floated out of the room.  
  
"Now I have to go rescue my brother" she said with contempt. Gaz went back outside and over to the front of the odd next door house knowing good and well that was where her brother must be. Without hesitation, she pushed the doorbell. She was surprised when a loud scream was the result. Gaz waited but there was no answer. Finally, she tried the knob. It was unlocked so she took the liberty of entering the extraterrestrial's home.  
  
It was dark inside. Hastily drawn stick figures on notebook paper were scattered about. She noted the two rubber animals sitting on a desk next to a jar containing a purplish tinted... organ? She couldn't be sure. The only thing she did know was that she had to find her brother. The faster the better; she could be playing her Gameslave right now.  
  
Gaz went from the main room to the kitchen, but there was still no sign of her big headed brother. She decided to try the door she had noticed in the living room.  
  
The door led to a row of stairs. She could see light at the end of the stairwell so she briskly walked down. At the end of the stairs was a room out of some bad sci-fi movie where the alien spaceship had been left deserted because of some big monster or a strange disease. This did nothing to faze her. She hurriedly looked around the spacious room. When she was satisfied that this room didn't hold her sibling, she crossed it to another stairway on the opposite side. She took it, venturing further into Zim's base. Surprisingly, it didn't take her long to find her brother after this. His distinctive whining could be heard echoing down the hall.  
  
Dib heard the door to his prison swing open.  
  
"Zim I..."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Gaz?" She pulled a lever on the wall and the shackles containing Div fell free (they can do this because they are 'alien' shackles). Dib made a weak attempt to get up which only ended up causing him more pain.  
  
"Help me?" he asked pathetically.  
  
Gaz groaned as she went over to him with a hovering platform she had found. (myup... she found it... right outta the blue...) After getting him on the device, she pushed him out of the room and started to leave.  
  
"Wait Gaz, what about the rest of the people down here? You can't just leave them" Dib strained.  
  
"They probably deserve what's coming to them. I'd leave you too, but dad made me come get you."  
  
"But what about the..."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
A few minutes later, Gaz had successfully found her way out of Zim's home and was at her front doorstep once again. Dib had complained the entire way back and the thought that finishing him off would only waste time she could spend playing her game was the only thing that held her back. Upon entering the house, she noted that her negligent father was home (*gasp*).  
  
"Good you found your brother, now we..." The professor actually took the time to look at his offspring. "You can't go to the unveiling of Super Toast like that!" Dib looked rough, as you can imagine. He was very pale... had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he could projectile vomit from every orifice at any moment.  
  
"Dad, an alien removed one of my organs."  
  
"That's silly... there are no aliens..." Membrane began as a small scanning device automatically came over his eyes. "Hmm... you do seem to be missing your gall bladder. That's it! You can't come to the unveiling of Super Toast! It's the hospital for you." Not long after this, Dib was admitted to the local hospital where he was diagnosed as having severe blood loss and an infected wound. The doctors were certain that his gall bladder had somehow exploded and caused the laceration although Dib demanded that it was done by a psychotic alien wielding a knife. The doctors said he was suffering from shock and that these were ravings of lunacy; gotta love them doctors.  
  
Zim walked home, hands shoved in his pockets. He had begun to feel a growing disgust for his existence. He simply hated the circumstances under which he seemed forced to live.  
  
'Tak didn't care... she never did. How could I have been so stupid to think that someone cared whether I was happy or not, if I was even alive? I guess Mooseboy was right all along. Nobody wants me. I have no purpose in life. I only serve to make people miserable insulting them with my presence. And now, I can't even take control of my own life; not with them around anyway. Mooseboy said the only way to get rid of them was to...end it.'  
  
Zim let his thoughts dwell on that last part. Could he take back control? Was he strong enough? No, he needed one last opinion before he made any final decisions. He hurried home, thoughts of suicide filtering through his mind, and storm clouds collecting in the skies.  
  
Back to Meanwhile!  
  
"Oooh! I found the secret bonus level!" Iggins screams at the top of his lungs upon discovering the Enchanted Forest full of grotesquely cute fuzziwugs and boonesybugs. Yes, the forest is so full on nummy cuteness that the author (that's me!) cannot continue only to say... wackiness ensues.  
  
BACK TO THE STORY!!  
  
The door to Zim's base swung open as a clap of thunder sounded in the distance. The rain had not begun its torrential downpour as of yet, but its coming had become more and more obvious. Zim entered, making his way to the door that would lead him into the bowels of his base.  
  
"Where are you going?" Mr. Pork asked, just the slightest bit worried. Zim didn't respond. He simply swung open the door and descended the stairs.  
  
"He'd better not be dead" Zim mumbled to himself as he hurriedly walked. He might have noticed that one of the hovering devices he used to move corpses was missing, but he was in too much of a hurry for that. He started down the hall where Dib's cell, of sorts, was located only to freeze in place when he saw the door open. A slight panic washed over him and he inched up to the door carefully as if something would come out and attack him. Once there, he peered in to see the room was empty. His face contorted into one of rage.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
Zim didn't know what to think, what to do, what to say. This was completely unexpected and it hit him full force. He knew the answer to the question he had been itching to ask and it made him sick. He wanted so very desperately to be alone, but he knew they wouldn't give him that. Disgusted with himself, Zim went back to the house level, subjugating himself to the influence of the voices.  
  
He didn't want to die Zim just wanted to be free. In these moments of desperation, he thought of death. He had heard of the existence of omniscient beings. He wasn't sure whether he believed that or not. The only thing he was certain of was that he'd find out soon enough.  
  
"Z, what's the matter?" Mr. Pork asked, ripping Zim away from his ponderings. He glanced at the pig for a moment before looking away. "Now... don't do anything rash..." Pork said slowly, fearing for his continuation.  
  
"The only thing I'll be doing is getting rid of you" Zim replied with contempt.  
  
"He's doing it because he loves us so much that he doesn't want to burden us with his presence any longer." Mooseboy said cheerily. "Isn't that nice?"  
  
"That's not why... I don't want you ruling me anymore." Zim said as he glanced between the two. Mooseboy shrugged.  
  
"As long as you do it... it doesn't matter why." Psycho Mooseboy was practically beaming.  
  
"Yes it does... he's being misleading! Look, I still want you around..." Zim finished the statement for him.  
  
"So you can keep using me like you always have." Mr. Pork's jaw dropped.  
  
"That's not fair!"  
  
"No, this isn't fair; life's not fair! I should be in control of me! You two shouldn't have as much influence as you do! I'm fucked up and it's your fault... so I'm getting rid of you the only way I can think of." Zim glared between the two.  
  
"That's nice..." Mooseboy said through a yawn. "But I don't see you doing it."  
  
"I'm waiting..."  
  
"For what?" Pork demanded.  
  
"The rain"  
  
END!  
  
  
  
Heh... good you skipped my intro thingy because it was too long and if you didn't... ... Oh my God! Somebody cares! The author that is me is in shock! K... anyway... I like the rain... it's so intriguing... Zim likes its burning quality at the moment. Getting burned alive is an intense feeling (don't ask me how I know this is... because I have not experienced the burn) I wonder if Zim can go through with it... Oh... and if you're worried about Dib being in the hospital... I know it can be a dangerous place... with all those doctors... and that new set of shiny surgery knives that just came in... but, as I said... I can't kill him... not right now anyway... and damn do I have a lot to say... I need to put this talkativeness to some use... *goes to update her mouth off page* K...go check out the website... (see my shameless self plug? well... maybe a little shame) lizzy733.batcave.net All links now working! Hurray for earth! And I shoom...  
  
Started at 3:48am ... completed at 6:13pm ... (there was a little break in there for sleeping somewhere...*shrugs*) 


	12. Death is Imminent?

I stuck in a lengthy outro so... I don't own nuthin' it's Vasquez' doings! On to the story!  
  
Zim the Suicidal Irken part 12(Muahahahahahaha!)  
  
"There are other ways of doing this... ways that don't end in you die..." Pork was cut off before he has time to finish.  
  
"I've exhausted all the options. This is the only way and I'm going to do it damn it! You can't do a damn thing about it! Not you!" Zim stood and pointed to the dismayed Mr. Pork "Or you!" he demanded while pointing at elated Mooseboy. "Well... fuck it! You want me to die anyway don't you?"  
  
"Myup... go at it!" Mooseboy said with cheer.  
  
"I hate that you find some sort of satisfaction in the thought of my death."  
  
"You haven't killed yourself yet..." Mooseboy said stating the obvious.  
  
"I told you I'm waiting."  
  
"Oh yes, on the rain. If you were serious about killing yourself you'd go get a highly destructive laser and blow your brains all over the wall."  
  
"Shut up! If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it MY way! You hear me?! I AM IN CONTROL HERE!!"  
  
"Come on Z... You don't have to do this... why don't you go out and get a cherry brainfreezy?" Pork suggested.  
  
"Hmm, a cherry brainfreezy would be.... NO! No freezies! I'm waiting on the rain... and just so I don't have to listen to you two..." he said as he glared between them both. "I'm waiting outside." And with that, Zim got up from his place on the floor and exited his house through the back door. He lay on the cold, oppressive dirt ground and stared up at the accumulating clouds. A tear strayed down his cheek as he waited for his ending.  
  
'It will all be over soon. Just like Mooseboy said; the rain will come and it will wash away what the tears can't. All I have to do is wait for death.' He looked up into the swirling mass of clouds, hoping the merciful outburst would come swiftly.  
  
Back to Meanwhile!  
  
Iggins pauses in his onslaught of terror when he realizes there are no creatures left to destroy. He looks around at his surroundings. The forest is covered in the gory remains of the woodland creatures.  
  
"I must have made an unbeatable top score! I am the superior gamer!" Iggins looks around. There is no one to praise him for his conquest. In his mind he defeated the enemies of the forest and valley, but in reality he has been an oppressive smiter of the innocent. His delusions give him the benefit of thinking he has done some great feat in the name of all gamers.  
  
"Well... I guess it's time to go back home and play my GS2!" Iggins hops away, leaving the mallet behind in a mound of what can only be entrails. He gleefully skips the rest of the way back to his window, but notices something not entirely kosher about his room.  
  
He enters the window and looks around. The lights are out... except for a slight green glow emanating from a square screen. Iggins clicks on the light of his bedside table, which is conveniently located nearby the window. The extra illumination is enough for him to see a girl with purple hair sitting on his bed playing his GS2.  
  
"That's mine!" he squeals in an annoyingly hyper voice.  
  
"Is it?" asks the girl, locking eyes with the spastic boy. She grins evilly as she picks up an item from the foot of the bed and holds it over her head. As the light glints off the item, Iggins gives his opinion of it.  
  
"Hey that looks exactly like the Barrock Axe of Doom that you have to have the special code to access in the Final Assault beta version!" A slicing noise is heard aaand... now we see Iggins has fallen to the ground with a serious indentation in his head. Look, you can see a little grey matter there.  
  
END!  
  
About an hour had passed and still the heavens hadn't issued forth a downpour of any sort. Zim was growing impatient and 'they' had come to the kitchen window to watch the spectacle. He could hear them from where he was lying, face up on the dirt patch that was his backyard.  
  
"Do you really think he'll go through with it Mooseboy?"  
  
"To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if he got up and came back in right now. He's too weak to do it!" Mooseboy said, raising his voice over the last sentence.  
  
Zim winced at the comment. He knew Mooseboy was only egging him on. He really felt weak for complying with the moose's orders, but what other way was there to rid himself of the obnoxious presences? Yelling had worked to rid him of Naildoggy, although he quite regretted that now. Naildoggy was the only one who seemed to truly care about him and now he was gone.  
  
'Maybe if Naildoggy was still around... no, what am I saying. As quickly as he left, it was as if he was waiting for a reason to go. He didn't want to be around me any more than Tak or Dib... or anyone on this fucking ball of dirt! I bet I wasn't even missed at skool today. I won't be missed tomorrow... or the next day. Rest is right around the corner. I have time... I have all the time in the world... to wait. I can do this. I can break free. I don't need those assholes in there to tell me what to do. Fook, what am I saying? Mooseboy is overjoyed. He wants this! So in a way, I'm still giving in to them. But, that's it isn't it? Either I kill myself and make Mooseboy happy or I don't and make Mr. Pork happy. It doesn't matter that I just want to do this for myself. It all has to do with those fucking pieces of plastic!'  
  
"Oh look Mooseboy! He's looking at us. Do you think he's second guessing his decision?"  
  
Zim glared with all of his power to do so at the voices that thought so highly of themselves. One, wanting nothing more than to serve his master... the other, a rebel with his own ideals. In either direction, Zim saw conformity. There was no in which he could dwell.  
  
He once again diverted his attention to the skies and the swirling dark blue mass. It was so unlike the skies that he remembered from his home... or did he remember? It seemed an eternity had passed since he last laid eyes on the atmosphere of Irk. The only image he could recover from his fragmented mind was a blur of purple and red hues. One would think these memories would be impressionable enough to linger throughout a lifetime, but Zim found them slowly slipping away from him. The more he tried to concentrate on that one image, the more it became distorted, slipping away.  
  
It didn't really matter to him now. He would never see that skyscape again. He concentrated on the view above him, studying its ever changing appearance as clouds swirled around themselves, ready to drop their load. He didn't want to forget one detail.  
  
  
  
While this was happening, Dib was being catered to in the hospital. No one believed him that an attacker had caused his wound. On nurse hypothesized that he had fallen out of a tree and was impaled by a branch on the way down... accounting for the gash, and that his gall bladder had caught on the limb and he continued to fall... accounting for the missing appendage. Dib had demanded that this was as improbable as it was impractical, but despite his opinion. The doctors seemed to accept this as another likely cause of the injury.  
  
Although the doctors' opinions and hypothesis were entirely inaccurate, their treatment methods were up to speed. After checking for internal hemorrhaging, Dib had received a few blood transfusions and they had re- sutured his laceration, cleaning it of any signs of infection. He asked them how they explained the poor stitching. His reply was that while he was in shock, a fuzzy woodland creature decided to try and help him and desperately used a porcupine's quill and hair from an unknown source to help him as best they could. (see me mock man's ignorance?)  
  
It was beyond Dib how they couldn't see. The answers were right in front of them, as clear as day. But for some reason they chose to ignore the obvious, engrossing themselves in meaningless little details that were exceedingly inadequate at masking reality.  
  
His largely head hurt and he was certain it was a side effect to the drugs they haphazardly pumped into his system through a single IV line. The beeping of his vital signs did little more than provide a beat for his throbbing head. He knew what being stable was... and there was no way he was about to flat line, so when the nurse decided to grace his room with her presence, he asked her about it.  
  
"Uhm... why do they have me hooked up to a heart monitor? I think I'm ok enough for them to take me off of it" He said looking at the overly thin woman.  
  
"Have you ever heard of sudden infant death syndrome?" she asked as she checked his IV. She had yet to even look at him.  
  
"Yes... but I'm not an infant!" he protested, wincing at the slight (slight due to drugs making his brainmeats release chemicals that counteract them nervsies) amount of pain it brought him. She looked down at him, blowing a bubble with her gum, waiting for him to continue his annoying talk. "Never mind" he said realizing that the hospitals were only full of people who thought they were better than those of normal society and that their hypothesis were the only correct ones. She let the bubble pop and swiftly exited the room.  
  
Meanwhile... we see a blank screen with no background. A 'cute' little hamster walks across the scene.  
  
"Hi! I'm the cute and fuzzy little peepi person! I was purchased from a pet store for the sole purpose of being a filler for this author's crappy work! I remember being at the pet shop... I had friends and family there." "  
  
The panel moves on. "But one day, a girl came in and squeezed all my little peepi brethren. I know this because I was there. I was not squished because my mother's corpse was dropped on me and the girl happened to pass me by."  
  
The panel moves on. "Look! I'm wiggling my toes for your enjoyment! Laugh at the cuteness of my little toes!"  
  
The panel moves on. "I still have flashbacks some times. I have been mentally scarred beyond anything my poor little hamster mind was meant to be able to handle."  
  
The panel moves on. "I'm frolicking over the hills with flowers! Do you see? Don't I look happy? I'm not really happy. This fake smile on my face is there for your viewing pleasure. It hides the mental torture I must daily endure."  
  
The panel moves on. "I constantly ask myself why I was the only one to make it out. Why couldn't it have been another?"  
  
The panel moves on. "Now watch as I use this splinter as a toothpick! Yes, gawk at my cuteness! Yarg! Noooo! Mommie! MOMMIE!??!?!?!"  
  
The panel moves on. "Well... the author is done using me for the time being. I will now be returned to that cage in that spooky alien's base right next to the shifty-eyed weasels. Alright... this is over..." Peepi starts to walk away. "No... really." He walks out of view.  
  
END!  
  
  
  
Zim let out a sigh. Another half hour had passed with no action from the clouds, that is, until he felt a slight tinge on his cheek. He continued to stare up at the sky as a slight drizzle began.  
  
END!!!!  
  
  
  
Alrighty... if you didn't notice... I just kinda got off on some strange lil' topics during this chapter. And... all those remarks about hospitals were not there to make fun of hospital people, but people in general. So if you don't work at a hospital, don't feel privileged. Ooh and the hamster carnage was inspired by Roman Dirge... I actually started trying to think of this chapter in a chat room, working in character. I have this logged and will release it at some time... not now... because it gives away plot... and I don't wanna do that. After I have executed all those plottings, I will post it as a chapter. Although it was really me and some friends messing around, it ended up being pretty funny... to me anyway. Zim took on some strange personality quirks during it that, in the 20000+ words I've written on him, has never happened before, but that's what you get when you try to talk rationally to irrational characters. Anyway... lucky 13's up next! Stay tuned!  
  
Started some time around 2am... completed at 7:43am. 


	13. Chapter 13A! That's right A

This is part 1 of chapter 13... Muahahahahahahahaaha! k... I'll stop now.. Happy Halloweenies everybody! My attempt at a Halloween fic kinda... didn't get finished. This fic wouldn't let me write on anything else... because it's greedy... myup... so... I'll put that one out if it ever gets finished... Okay! Jhonen Vasquez is partially responsible for this because he gives me warped characters to work with... Yup... he owns them. I just write about them because it appeases me to do so...  
  
Zim the HomICidAl irKEn part 13a(yup... it's a two parter)  
  
The clouds slowly let their precious cargo drop to the ground below. A single droplet fell and landed in Zim's eye. At first it didn't sting. Preoccupied, he had neglected to remove his disguise and the bead fell on his contact. In another second, the drop had found its way around the barrier and onto his tender eye. He forgot himself and shot up immediately when the almost unbearable pain infiltrated the vulnerable area. He tossed the contacts and wig away as they only served to be an added annoyance. He growled to himself for not being strong enough to stand the single drop.  
  
At that moment, his antennae perked up as a breaking noise infiltrated the air. He exhaled sharply as a few more droplets broke on his skin and decided not to let his thoughts dwindle on it. Oblivion was awaiting.  
  
The noise had come from a single barrier deep within the recesses of Zim's base. The source was a wall originally stained with a once red substance. Zim had been neglecting this particular feature of his house and now, whatever was behind it had gained enough force to cause the crack which was slowly increasing in size.  
  
Spidering veins spread across the divider, weakening it more. Then, in one quick motion, the entire partition fell to the ground, scattering dust about in the air. Out of the dust came a large creature with two glowing purple eyes. As the particles settled, the bug-like monster laughed sinisterly and moved forward. From behind it, several other creatures issued forth from the gaping hole, filling the room. The collected fiends then began their journey upwards, devouring any humans they happened to come across.  
  
Zim trembled in the rain as tendrils of smoke curled their way upwards. He took the pain that was quite literally rained down on him. He focused on the freedom that was to come, that is until more banging noises were heard. They were coming closer and he began to realize that the source was none other than his own house.  
  
Zim jerked his head to look at the house. He expected to see Mr. Pork staring out the window in some sort of abstract horror while Psycho Mooseboy laughed maniacally for some reason, but instead there was nothing at the window. As his mind began to wander from what he was doing, his curious nature overcame him. Zim got up and left what he was so sure would have become his gravesite in order to find out where his voices had gone as well as the source of those noises.  
  
He opened the backdoor and stared in awe at the spectacle before him. A procession of monsters came from his basement and out a gaping hole in the front of his house. His jaw dropped in surprise as he took in the scene. The strange beings flowed out into the street and spread across the city, leaving a wake of terror wherever they set foot, tentacle, or appendage in general. The shredded remains of what once were Mooseboy and Pork lay on the floor.  
  
Zim, intent on finding out what was happening, walked forward to address one of the creatures. The majority seemed to ignore him until one creature stopped to listen to the small Irken. This being was black with purple eyes, tall, had white stripes on its arms and legs and had two banded antennae-like appendages coming off its forehead. Zim wasn't disturbed by its menacing appearance and walked right up to the creature.  
  
"What the fuck is going on?" he asked inquisitively.  
  
"We got out!" the creature said happily.  
  
"Out of whe... the wall?"  
  
"Uhuh" Zim cursed under his breath thinking of how he had ignored his duty to coat the wall.  
  
"Are you supposed to be some monstrous creatures?" Zim queried as he looked out the house at the rampaging monstrosities "because that one there kinda looks like my teacher."  
  
"We're from another dimension based on the mind of Dib Membrane."  
  
"You came from his head?"  
  
"Yeah, he created us in his mind."  
  
"How did you know that?" The tall creature shrugged. "What if you didn't know? Who is to say that this world isn't the spawning of some person's overactive imagination?" Zim paused... "and how did you get behind my wall?"  
  
"We tried to get out through Dib, but he was too hardheaded. We realized that the wall in your basement was a breach point and tried to get out through it, but somebody kept coating it with blood. This big blob of a sewer monster really likes blood. He stuck himself to the wall, keeping us from breaking through." (And doesn't that explanation suck? Gimme an S! Gimme a ... no wait... I'm not going to subject you to the horror of picturing satan as a cheerleader so back to the story.) Zim thought to himself for a moment.  
  
"That makes sense... I guess..."  
  
"Hey, are there any brainfeezy stores here?"  
  
"Uhm, yeah... there's one about three blocks that way." Zim said while pointing outside. The being leapt out into the now slowing rain. Zim began to think again.  
  
'That thing wasn't really bad, and he didn't seem to mind being around me... These new beings must be different than those humans that dominate this world... maybe they will take over here!' Zim looked happily out the gaping hole in his base. A creature with a flaming head, looking like an extremely deformed human in a thong, ran by chasing a little blonde girl with pigtails who was clutching a doll in a pink dress. He caught up to the girl, picked her up by the head and began eating her doll; shortly after, he shoved the child into his thong...of doom?  
  
END  
  
And this is the end of part a... b will be out in a matter of days... With spookiness. Look! Zim's all happy now. He doesn't want to die anymore! The voices are... gone with shredding fun... and Zim thinks someone cares! He completely overlooked that fact that he was being ignored by the majority of them. Hmmm... PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR SOME DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! ...ok  
  
Completed at 3:02am 


	14. And here's B!

Part two... are you scared now? Well this chapter has lots of redundant acts of doom... so prepare... You have been warned... Jhonen is the RULER of Zim and stuff... I own nothing...  
  
Zim the hOmiCidAl IrkeN part 13b (can you hear the echo?)  
  
The city was plagued by the horrendous figments as they continued their rampage. People barricaded themselves inside their homes; a futile attempt to stop the creatures in their quest for sweet, sweet blood-candies as they commonly found other means of entry. Those that found themselves out in the open ran for any cover available. The creatures continued their pursuit of the delectable inhabitants of this dimension.  
  
A little boy was crying loudly. His ice cream had fallen out of his cone and was now melting on the concrete. A scary monkey suddenly arrived on the scene and began licking the ice cream off the ground. This so frightened the child that he ran screaming for the next thirty minutes before finding a secluded spot of which he could curl in the fetal position and weep for hours on end.  
  
A gigantic mass of demon babies attacked the Crazy Taco place, demolishing the drive-thru as it demanding a poop cola. It then started a rampage around town while sipping on the large soda. At one point, it tripped over a large truck labeled morbidly obese baby dolls and sent the metallic doll on top rolling. The doll took out several of the people, as well as monsters, showing no discrimination in its roll of doom.  
  
An almost innocent boy-like figure ran by with a mallet raised to do some damage. He attacked a group of squirrels and a deranged stick figure which sent out a slew of profanities as it was repeatedly pummeled in the head with the childish creature's weapon.  
  
The streets had grown quite chaotic and people ran this way and that, screaming that this was most definitely a sign of the apocalypse and that everyone was doomed. As this was going on, a disturbing dog dragged a piece of meat across the roadway. Little Todd saw the dog and ran by yelling "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
In the Membrane house, Gaz sat engrossed in her GS2. From outside, she could hear screams and shouts of terror. A sinister shadow fell over her as a large demon from beyond went to attack the young girl.  
  
"Move you're in my light!" she demanded of the hell spawn. It immediately burst into tears and ran away, sadden by the fact that it had failed in its first attempt to scare a human. It later committed suicide over this very issue.  
  
The large roach-like creature had found its way to the retirement home. It expressed its wishes to rain doom down upon them, but was annoyed when a senior citizen asked it to speak up. That elderly old man was swiftly decapitated.  
  
Due to the threat of life, several of the gun wielding citizens took to the streets, using this as an excuse to articulate marshal law. Most of them stood around in wife-beaters (undershirts for those of you who don't know what that is) and either boxer shorts or camouflage pants. The majority of them were trigger happy and shot anything that seemed to move. In doing this, they did little more than waste their ammunition which they would most likely need at a later time.  
  
  
  
"It's coming this way! Aaaah! We're all going to die!" shouted an x-ray technician as she ran by Dib's room. He propped himself up on his elbows and called out to the employee.  
  
"What? Who's coming?" the only reply he got was a tumult of frightened screams issuing from behind his room door. It was at this point that a man in a chicken suit appeared outside of his window. The chicken man shrieked out at him, shaking his head from side to side as it kept itself airborne by flapping its wings really hard. (flying chickens would be disturbing) Dib screamed out in fear.  
  
As quickly as he could, he jerked loose all the IV's and status equipment that had held him down and, as swiftly as a recovering patient could, made his way out of his hospital room. Several people rushed by and without a maneuver to the side, Dib would have ended up on the floor. He glanced back over his shoulder to see that the horrible chicken thing was gone. With a sigh of relief, he took advantage of the sudden break in hall traffic and stumbled across to the receptionist desk.  
  
Of course, there wasn't anyone there, but a hospital directory was on the wall behind the counter. Upon inspection of it, he noted that he was on the third floor, near the maternity ward. 'Figures' Dib thought. He was suddenly shaken from his thoughts by a frightening howl emanating from just down the hall.  
  
  
  
Tak hadn't left her base since her last encounter with Zim. The creatures that were now overtaking the city had not left out her residence. Presently, an unseen evil banged on her front door. She had placed several superior Irken locking mechanisms on the door, but not even those were holding as the creature continued its assault. Two of the locks had already broken and the door wouldn't hold much longer. Tak made an attempt to escape the death trap by rushing out the backdoor before that thing would have a chance to maneuver around her base.  
  
She made a dash across the grassy backyard. The unseen evil was on her heels in a matter of seconds. She looked back at it before jumping a fence and running into the open door of the house her neighbor had abandoned. She slammed it shut and backed away from the means of entry. A window located near the door was suddenly broken from the outside and Tak fled up to the second story of the house. She ran past a few rooms in the upper level, before deciding on one to hide in. Without looking, she ran and shut the door behind her. She breathed heavily as relief washed over her. Then she turned around.  
  
"Aaaaaah! Nooo!" The room she had entered was that of a little girl's, done up in pink, but that wasn't what made her scream. In the center of the room, where a bed should have been but for some reason wasn't, was a moose... with walnuts. The hideous monstrosity was unbearable. That crunching... and moose! It was horrible.  
  
Dib averted his gaze from the directory to the source of the howl. A cloud of what looked like lice was coming his way. In his weakened condition, he made it little more than a few feet away before he was overcome by the cloud. The parasites began biting into him. Dib screamed and itched himself frantically, but there were too many of them. They covered him completely and if nothing happened in the next few minutes, he would assuredly be eaten alive.  
  
The raining outside had slowly subsided and now, the only traces that it had ever been were a few scattered puddles... and a small number of burn marks on Zim's skin. The Irken looked out the gaping hole in his house. Less than two hours before he had wanted to end his life, but now he felt like everything was turning out for the better. He had been pondering how much better his life seemed ever since the helpful creature had left in pursuit of a brainfreezy and now that the rain had ended he felt he had to get out and see what doom had befallen the disgusting planet he was forced to inhabit.  
  
Zim tentatively took a few steps outside of his domicile. Once he was certain that the rain had stopped, he began walking down the slick streets. Behind him, several houses were ablaze and a loud car alarm rang out into the night air. Zim grinned as he walked past this... and the deformed being with the thong that had finished eating the baby doll and was now sucking on the little girl's head, making her sad. Whistling happily, Zim shoved his hands into his pockets.  
  
"Look! It's an alien!" Zim stopped mid gait and turned his head to look at the person who had uttered the phrase, a 'deer-caught-in-headlights' expression on his face. "Let's get him!" yelled the voice as the sound of a gunshot filtered through the air.  
  
"Bam!" It hit Zim full force and he fell to the ground twitching as his blood seeped out and onto the pavement. The damp ground made him sizzle slightly. He bent his head (now with gaping hole!) to the side and looked up at the man standing over him with the barrel of his gun raised high.  
  
"F...fook" Zim managed, squinting his good eye shut as the barrel was brought down, but it never hit its mark. Zim opened his eye to look, but did so at a bad time as a metallic morbidly obese baby doll rolled over him, crushing what was left of his weakened body.  
  
In the room with the moose, Tak screamed out in abject horror. In the hospital, Dib was devoured by lice. On the street, Zim lay in a puddle of his own blood. Somewhere in Vegas, a midget is squirting a bottle of massage oil on himself *now we are going to redirect the scene to Zim again because the author just made herself ill* The scene slowly faded out, blurred, until it became nothing... nothing but Zim and the concrete slab that his broken body was laying on. It's over.  
  
END!  
  
Ooh this was a fun chapter to write! Lotsa dooming! So... it's over... or is it? Stay tuned if you want to find out what the fuck happened. If you don't then I don't like you and you can go away. HEY! I shamelessly self plug! Go check out my site! lizzy733.batcave.net myup... and please review. I love my reviewers... I luv them good. As a token of my affection I offer you meat covered in barbecue sauce.  
  
Finished @ 1:54am 


	15. the afterlife or something

Annoying talk thingy at the end... go there to hear my squealy noise making...  
  
Zim the Dead Thingy (that's part 14 to you)  
  
Zim opened his eyes to find himself in some place with white walls, either that or just a white light in general. He shook his head as it throbbed with a horrendous headache. It was then that reality caught up with him...  
  
"Wait... didn't I die?"  
  
"Yes!" Zim glanced up at the owner of the voice. In front of him was a podium and behind stood a shrouded figure.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked it as his headache began to subside.  
  
"I am Poop Dog the Gangsta Specter of Purgatory aka the holding pen of PAIN!" Zim stood up slowly and began brushing himself off as he bemusedly looked at the dog man.  
  
"I'm not in pain... and I thought when you died you were sent to heaven or hell... where did this purgatory thing come from?" Despite his grisly appearance, Zim really was in no physical pain at the moment. This in contrast with the name of the place was enough to baffle him.  
  
"Well, they is too busy and neither of them wanted to take you, so they dumped yo skinny assed self here. But you can't stay... we're overcrowded as it is." Zim looked around.  
  
"But I'm the only one here."  
  
"Silence! You weren't supposed to die fool!" Zim double-blinked.  
  
"So, why am I even here?"  
  
"When my boy busted a cap in your ass and you got smacked the fuck up by that big body baby doll, it threw the whole universe out of balance; making the whole damn thing implode in on itself." Poop Dog crossed his arms over one another as he waited for a reaction from the shell-shocked Irken.  
  
"My dieing did all that?"  
  
"Of course! You were like the city cesspool of the universe fool! When you died, there was nobody for the people to bitch at and take things out on. That's why it ended the universe."  
  
"Well, if I can't stay and the world ended, then where do I go?"  
  
"The world wasn't supposed to end. You get to wait here whilest it starts itself back up yo."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Just go look around or something I've got stuff to be doing." Zim glanced around at the glowy white place.  
  
"But there's nothing here..."  
  
"Just fuck off..." Zim glared at the Gangsta Specter... he would have slit the 'fool's' throat right then and there, but his knives were missing. (*shock*horror*)  
  
"Could I at least have something for this?" Zim pointed at his massive head wound.  
  
"Oh... here's a sandwich." Taking the sandwich, Zim walked a little ways away from the dog man and sat down, tossing the sandwich to the side. As he did this, Pop Dog went back to what he was doing; reading a copy of Crazy Robot Boy... it goes as follows:  
  
"Tuna is the enemy! Yessss! They is made with butter poop! The grinding of my modish compels you to stare into my manhood! Stare deeply into my groin of pleasure! It compels you!" Crazy Robot Boy stops his preaching to the narrow minded people and animals of this badly drawn park in a city whose name we do not know and steps down from his soap box. He grabs the stand and raises it high over his head as he runs up to a boy who is eating an ice cream cone.  
  
"You! I demand you take up the celery sticks of aggression! Fight back against the jacked circuits of the TUNA!! It is the disembodiment of Oprah Wendy! Yes, yes! He laughs at your pitiful bark also known as the alter boy of doom! Now with a new clean look!" The child looks up from his cone and begins to cry.  
  
"A leak! A LEAK! Stop your rainy water-making! Hairy meat beast!" Crazy Robot Boy suddenly stops and stares at the audience. "No cows were hurt in the making of this pooh..."  
  
A panel later, Crazy Robot Boy is standing next to a cliff and looking over the side. "It is now that my chicken is soiled with mayonnaise. I can no longer bark the anthem. Goodbye vegetable oppressors. My foot does now entoe you to lick my pelvis." Having not yelled once during that entire pointless noisy thing known as talk, Robot Boy dives off the cliff and into a pool of green jelly.  
  
"Crazy cows unite to form funky Broadway sausage!" As Robot Boy speaks these words, a field of cows comes in to form a gigantic sausage. It then begins to river dance. "The udder horror! Stare indulgences! Learn to moo ultracow! Fear the evil tuna of the bees! Packed in vile water of the fishiest gargantuan, I compel thee!!!" Robot Boy floats on his back and kicks his way to the diving board of his green jelly pool. Once there, he pulls himself out of the sticky goo.  
  
"Cry like you have always clucked after the rabbit! Beware the tuna... beware the TUNA!!!" With this Crazy Robot Boy yells out in an inaudible cry, sounding something like a primate's howl of horror and a child's ineligible talks of doom and runs off into the field with his arms raised high. They were flailing and giggling for some unknown reason.  
  
END  
  
Zim sat, looking away from Poop Dog and out into the ongoing whiteness. If this was a room, he couldn't tell where the floor ended and the walls began, and the ground seemed like a glass casing with the white light under it. The place was strange and the brightness began to get annoying.  
  
'I wonder if those monster things were able to take over... and the rubber toys, will they be back?' Zim involuntarily shuddered.  
  
"I hope not"  
  
"Silence fool! This is some fucked up shit and I plan to get fucked up right along with it!" Zim glanced over at the dog that was now smoking a blunt and still reading on his comic of choice. He then went back to his pondering. Poop Dog started a new Robot Boy, noting that it said 'by ZIM' in the opening panel. Surprised he looked up at the alien who continued to ponder his predicament.  
  
"Yo!" Zim looked back at the dog with annoyance. "You write this shit?" He held up the comic, but Zim couldn't see it clearly so he got up to get a better look. He walked up the specter and, trying to avoid the accumulating smoke cloud, looked at what was indeed his Crazy Robot Boy comic.  
  
"Yeah" he replied.  
  
"You must have been trippin' on some fucked up shit when you wrote this!"  
  
"No... I don't smoke..." The dog looked down at the alien and leaned in to speak, breathing the intoxicating smoke in Zim's face.  
  
"What was it? I gotta get a hold of some of that shit yo. I could make a killing selling that shit on the street!" Zim glared at the dog face as he coughed and swiped a hand in front of his face to clear the smoke.  
  
"I am beginning to detest your existence more and more. I told you I don't DO anything!"  
  
"Fine then, you will never know the great mystery fool!" Poop Dog leaned back up to his full height and pointed down at Zim.  
  
"What great mystery?"  
  
"What will happen to you when you leave here!"  
  
"But won't I know that when I do leave here?" Poop Dog stared for a moment and then shrugged.  
  
"It's time to go anyway... It'll be like a dream. You wake up and..."  
  
"Woah woah woah! Wake up?!"  
  
"Yeah, like when you pass out drunk... of course without the hangover, but..." Zim shook his head unnerved.  
  
"I don't drink... and I hate sleep!"  
  
"You is fucked up. There ain't nothing wrong with no sleep." Zim clenched his teeth and looked away.  
  
"But I detest it so, every time I wake up there's no way to tell what has and hasn't happened. You now, it blurs the lines of reality so to speak."  
  
"No... I don't know, but you're about to go. Cause I can't listen to this shit no more."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Right now." Poop Dog began to laugh at Zim as he stood at his full stature with his arms crossed in front of him. The scene faded for Zim and he felt dizzy. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his head.  
  
When he opened his eyes again, Zim was sitting up on the floor of his living room. He looked around. There was no sign of the rubber toys or the gaping hole that should have been the front of his house. There were no traces of the monsters in question and everything seemed normal... if anything was really normal.  
  
"Was that all just a dream?" He felt different, clearheaded. Zim stood and walked to his boarded up window and looked out one of the gaps. The sun shone brightly in the sky and he looked over at his neighbor's house to see Dib. The big headed mocking boy stared out his second story window at him. Zim sighed and walked away from the window.  
  
"I guess it's just me now" he said while plopping down on his couch.  
  
"Yup!" Zim looked over at his drawing desk to see what had spoken.  
  
"Me and a Dirty Chicken Toy."  
  
END  
  
  
  
*SQUEALY TALK STARTS HERE* Alrighty... I really never could get into Eff's character. I just went on motivation. He's too mysterious... so at least I don't have to worry about doing him anymore. Besides, Mr. Pork wasn't a hundred percent Eff, just as Zim isn't one hundred percent Johnny. Maybe it was just his pig-like affinity for exhortation... or something... And I press on. You better be happy I wrote this chapter. I was wounded by tuna and the cut on my finger is throbbing for me repeatedly banging the keys on this computer (not like that you perverse person). Due to this wound, I am not even going to draw until it gets better... and I really wanna draw Zim with an ouchie, so that'll have to wait. Oh yeah, I own this not *looks at Jhonen* Chapter 15 to come... not even I know what's going to happen... that's right I have not premeditated anything. If I were you I'd be frightened of my spontaneous ness. I have assuredly convinced my friend that I see maybe once every two weeks (yes, sadly that is the extent of my social life...) that there is something assuredly not entirely right about me. It's 4:47am and it has been raining nonstop for about three days now... and I love the rain, so I think I'll go and stare at a piece of paper and think about all the things I could draw if tuna wasn't out to get me. So... until next time...  
  
Completed at 4:47am and at this exact moment a loud clap of thunder resounds and shakes the entire house! I squee with joy! 


	16. I a dumbass bitch who should update mor...

Yes, yes... I know it's been forever and a day and I am truly disgusted at myself for neglecting this story. I truly am, but I have a full time job now and I have hit a slump on inspiration so I'm giving you what I've gotten so far. This story should be somewhere close to getting finished, I'm just having trouble getting it there. Again, I am very perturbed at myself for my procrastination as of late. So here goes the story...  
  
Zim the Homicidal Irken part 15...  
  
"Wait, so I guess that means it's not just me. What are you supposed to be anyway? My inner child?" Zim asked the toy.  
  
"The name's Dirty Chickie and I represent everything your flesh craves" proclaimed the happy meal toy.  
  
"Sounds like you're just another Pork."  
  
"Oh no! I was here long before Mr. Pork! He only wanted you to fulfill his urge for carnage."  
  
"But you want that too don't you?"  
  
"If that's what you want to do then I can't say I'm against it."  
  
"What if that's not what I want?! What if I don't want anything?" Zim said while looming dangerously close to the new voice.  
  
"You can't live without want. There'll be something you can't do without and I'll be there to fulfill that desire." Zim glared at the toy.  
  
"Ah fuck it." The talk had angered Zim to a great extent. In all actuality there shouldn't have been a talk in the first place. Zim knew exactly what he wanted and that was silence. If somebody was going to talk, it would be him and not some fat lady hiding in the bushes. Zim walked down the narrow stairwell to his 'lab' (not a meth lab... think right!). Once he reached the threshold, he could hear the shouts and please of the deserving people who had accumulated over time. Zim paced from one room to the next. Exactly how long had he been gone? He could tell by the state of his guests that it had to have been at least a week. Zim checked from room to room.  
  
"Dead" he remarked casually as he left behind a room containing the body of a twenty your old man who had a rat happily nesting in the gaping hole that was his skull and nibbling on the decaying flesh that was drawing flies.  
  
"Lifeless" Zim remarked as he passed a bruised and battered woman's corpse. Her lifeless body was covered with random gashes and the flesh had begun to bloat.  
  
"Deceased." That last room had contained one of the many machines used as an educational tool. The student hadn't been that eager to learn. Zim strolled along from room to room passively.  
  
"There's a live one!" he exclaimed upon coming to a room with a mind just waiting to be educated. The student for this evening was a short haired brunette who had the audacity to mock Zim because he wore what she referred to as a "pink" shirt. Funny, she wasn't so quick to speak out now.  
  
"Hello there. I was dead but I'm ok now so we get to resume the lesson! Just think of how lucky you are." Zim smirked at the girl as he tightened the restraints that held her to the wall. Zim's plans to nail flesh to boards were interrupted by a loud buzzer sound. A screen popped down from the ceiling with the human word doorbell flashing across.  
  
"Who could that be?" Zim queried aloud as he ascended the many steps back to his living room. He was surprised his unwanted guests hadn't left by the time he got there, but Zim flung open the front door to reveal his houseguest. There stood two poorly disguised creatures.  
  
"Hello there earth child! Would you like to come with us on a walk? We have candy." Zim glanced between the two.  
  
"Are you aliens?" he asked.  
  
"No." There was a long pause. The silence was finally broken by Zim.  
  
"Okay, I know you're aliens but it would be dumb for you to take me seeing as I am not an earth child. I happen to be an Irken who is in the middle of a very important maiming so if you wouldn't mind too horribly, I'd like to get back to that."  
  
"Uhm, uhm, uhm, uhm..." said the alien dressed as a woman with a nametag reading 'Fred'. 'Fred' looked at his comrade. "Use the sack!" At this point, the one dressed as a man with a 'Mary' nametag produced just that, a sack, and launched it at Zim. Annoyed by the gesture, Zim sidestepped the attack.  
  
"You know, I was just thinking... you should take my neighbor. He's human and I'm, well, not. You won't learn much about humans if you take me."  
  
"Why would you think that? Besides, we're already here! Why should we waste an hour by going all the way next door? We have a schedule to keep."  
  
"Well, first of all, I'm not going to let you catch me, and second of all, the human next door has a sister as well. If you were to go over there now you could probably get two humans." The alien intruders seemed to be in deep thought as they weighted their choices.  
  
"Euaghuhhahumah... alright we'll go next door human wormbaby."  
  
"Good, I'm glad to hear that on and I'm not human." 'Mary' and 'Fred' exchanged glances before walking across Zim's dirt lawn. Zim glared after the odd pair for a moment, surprised that they had gone to the correct house. The thought of making them pay for their mistaking him for a wretched human did cross his mind, but their intelligence was such that they would not benefit from anything he would have to do to them.  
  
Zim sighed as he looked up into the sky to see a large floating rubber chicken. He raised a brow before going back inside and re-walking the long corridors of his basement till he got to the room he had been in previously.  
  
"Now where were we?" he asked the brunette...  
  
An incessant buzzing rang through the Membrane household.  
  
"Dib, make it stop or I will personally eviscerate you at skool today!" Gaz yelled to her brother as he walked to the door, wincing occasionally.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming... geeze." Dib opened the door wide and looked up at the visitors. Before his mind had a chance to process the two creatures standing before him, he was rudely shoved into a waiting sack.  
  
"Euryeah! Now you go get the boy" 'Fred' said to 'Mary'. The alien came upon Gaz who was in her normal perching spot, the couch. Her head did a one hundred and eighty degree turn and she stared the alien down.  
  
"I'm trying to play my game; can't I play my game?" 'Mary' backed down slowly.  
  
"This one's defective! I say we leave im'."  
  
"No, no don't leave em'! We need all the humans we can get."  
  
"Aw but look at it. There's something wrong with that'n." The unwanted alien guest glanced over at the growling Gaz. A look of worry crossed the extraterrestrial's face.  
  
"I think maybe you're right for once." 'Fred' said before smacking the bag holding a struggling Dib.  
  
"Eeeerm, let's get out of here. These human peach houses give me the creeps."  
  
"Alright then." And with that, the aliens were off with their human cargo.  
  
END  
  
Hopefully it won't take me a million years to update this again... 


	17. This insert thingy that has no relevance...

I am disheartened by my lack of updating this, so I am leaving you with an interesting little thingy I did in a chatroom once to quell a not so recent case of writer's block. When all was said and done, I laughed... hopefully you will too. *please note AA is me of course, and I talk to myself too much* this has been edited for your reviewing pleasure...  
  
AmandaApathy I hate you Z... you are fucking me up... that is NOT enough to fill up a 2000 word chapter you ASSHOLE!!  
  
AmandaApathy I can't make the entire damn ting outta fillers!  
  
AmandaApathy You and your bitchy self are fucking me up!  
  
AmandaApathy alright...  
  
AmandaApathy what can I do to prolong that.. stretch it out....  
  
AmandaApathy ...  
  
AmandaApathy a lot...  
  
AmandaApathy *glares at Z*  
  
AmandaApathy at least I have a new view of the character... doing him in the room is a lot different than doing him on paper....  
  
AmandaApathy k....  
  
AmandaApathy 5...4...3...2...  
  
Jada_Kat 1?  
  
AmandaApathy I'm trying to calm down... somebody's... *loudly to the shadowy figure luring in the corner* PISSED ME OFF!!!  
  
Jada_Kat .. uhhuh  
  
Z now I can add you to the long list of people who don't want me around! Maybe I should just listen to Mooseboy and get that laser! I bet you'd like me a lot better if I was to pull that trigger...  
  
AmandaApathy NOOO!  
  
AmandaApathy seee? that's the problem here...  
  
AmandaApathy I'm trying to prolong... not cut short... you don't die till ch 14...  
  
Z so this is premeditated murder... you piss me off... and then you tell me to go kill myself... but not until you say so? You're no worse than Mooseboy! Fook!  
  
AmandaApathy (I love arguing with myself)  
  
AmandaApathy Hey... you don't stay dead! I'm bringing you back a few chapters later!  
  
z what? no absolution? I'm gonna be a fucking slave for the rest of my existence?  
  
AmandaApathy I didn't say that!  
  
AmandaApathy besides... mooseboy and pork will be GONE!  
  
Z really?  
  
AmandaApathy yeah.. then there's that whole think with mr. Scolex and the... WAIT! you're not supposed to know these things!  
  
Z FUCK YOU Mr. BEAR YOU SPEAK LIES!!! LIIIIIEEEEESSSS!!!!!  
  
AmandaApathy ...  
  
AmandaApathy that's not u...  
  
Z what?  
  
AmandaApathy you didn't say that... the character you were based on did.... so you can't use it just like that... it has to be changed up first....  
  
Z what?!  
  
Z I can't even SAY that I want to?!  
  
*Z is glaring at lizzy... spooky  
  
AmandaApathy No...  
  
AmandaApathy *Z is going for the concealed weapon, eye twitching(I luv eye twitchy) "What exactly 'can' I do?"  
  
Parallax Oops!  
  
Parallax Your answer, $3.67, is off by $0.01.  
  
Parallax WELL FUCK YOU MR. BEAR@!  
  
Z wait... he can say it.. but I can't?!  
  
AmandaApathy ...  
  
AmandaApathy I take no responsibility for anything he does...  
  
AmandaApathy NOTHING!  
  
Z and I can't take responsibility for the stuff I do?  
  
AmandaApathy Do you really want to take the responsibility for extricating that guy's gall bladder?  
  
Z when did I....  
  
AmandaApathy that was his gall bladder... NOT kidney... you were kinda off...  
  
Z Ok... but I'd still take credit for it...  
  
AmandaApathy You're proud of it?  
  
Z he 'was' an asshole he 'did' deserve it... besides... he wouldn't leave me alone... I chased him down in the fucking rain.. and you're saying I shouldn't have done it?  
  
AmandaApathy no.. I woulda had you kill him... he is obnoxious... but for plot reasons.. he lives...  
  
Z damn...  
  
AmandaApathy well.. I'm done here...  
  
Z really?  
  
AmandaApathy yup...  
  
AmandaApathy gbye... Z... you stay...  
  
Z why?  
  
AmandaApathybecause I need to get into your character and I'm getting bored of talking to myself...  
  
*** AmandaApathy is now known as ZTHI  
  
ZTHI TALK TO MEEE! I NEED A REASON TO LIVE!!!  
  
ZTHI or at least something to ponder while awaiting death...  
  
Jada_Kat ice cream?  
  
Jada_Kat chocolate?  
  
Jada_Kat !  
  
Jada_Kat chocolate ice cream?!  
  
ZTHI hmm... what about cherry?  
  
Jada_Kat with cherries, sure  
  
ZTHI Yessss! Cherry is yummy...  
  
* ZTHI thinks about the cherry goodness...  
  
ZTHI wait... that reason sucks...  
  
Jada_Kat it does?  
  
AAZ has problems.. and they aren't gonna be solved by cherry goodness this time....  
  
Jada_Kat hmm..  
  
AA cherry goodness has thwarted his sullen mood before  
  
Jada_Kat black leather dusters..  
  
ZTHI ooooh...  
  
ZTHI ...  
  
ZTHI no wait...  
  
ZTHI the Dib wears one of those...  
  
Jada_Kat .. my brother told me they'd put Spike in my stocking this year..  
  
* ZTHI sticks out his tongue...  
  
Jada_Kat *brothers  
  
AA z don't like the Dib....  
  
Jada_Kat oh..  
  
Jada_Kat uhm..  
  
AA spike... in your stocking....  
  
Jada_Kat getting a bigger stocking..  
  
Jada_Kat or they can put him out under the tree..  
  
Jada_Kat mmmmm  
  
ZTHI hmmm.... I put my dog out under a tree once...  
  
AA that wasn't you...  
  
ZTHI oh yeah....  
  
* Jada_Kat goes to reread tha-- No, can't have to pack..  
  
AA don't ask about this strange things.. I am messin with him...  
  
ZTHI o.O pack?  
  
ZTHI are you leaving because you can't stand to be around me?  
  
Jada_Kat no.. leaving for CO tomorrow  
  
AA he has recently gotten all these issues about this very subject.....  
  
ZTHI oh...  
  
AA it's strange how sane a conversation he can carry on.... just don't piss him off... ...  
  
ZTHI I see.....  
  
AA *plays metallica Die die my darling*  
  
ZTHI DON"T PLAY THAT!!  
  
ZTHI IT'S NOT HELPING MY MOOD!! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO STAY ALIVE!!  
  
AA *shrugs* I thought it would remind you of killing and stuff....  
  
* ZTHI glares  
  
AA besides it came up completely random.... honest...  
  
* ZTHI continues to glare...  
  
ZTHI turn it off...  
  
AA NO!  
  
AA *thinking I am dumb*  
  
* ZTHI fakes a grin with clinched teeth"Turn it off..."  
  
AA ha it's over... you did all that bitching for no reason!  
  
ZTHI bitching?  
  
* ZTHI still has those knives out...  
  
*AA is for some dumb reason ignoring this  
  
AA oops... I'm becoming involved again... I need to stop this... You're on your own Z... *puts on Adema Giving In and grins at Z*  
  
* ZTHI glares yet again...  
  
ZTHI ...  
  
ZTHI 'this silence is getting to me'  
  
mooseboyKill yourself already!  
  
ZTHI SHUTUP!  
  
ZTHI I am sick and tired of you! Kill me yourself if you want me dead!  
  
ZTHI Come on! Do it!  
  
ZTHI *mooseboy looks all sullenly kuz I said so "I can't"  
  
pork he really would... if he could... he hates you Z... he wants you dead.. nothing more...  
  
ZTHI what about you? you probably hate me too.. the only reason you put up with me is because you have to... I've figured it out... *meeker*I think...*back to normal intensity* and you'll just throw me to the side the first chance you get!  
  
pork that's not fair...  
  
ZTHI and you've said that already! We aren't helping Lizzy out if you keep repeating your lines!  
  
AA ahem... less about me... more arguing  
  
* ZTHI glares  
  
AA please?  
  
* ZTHI mumbles "using me too..."  
  
AA what was that?  
  
ZTHI *sweetly* nothing!  
  
AA mhm... I'm getting too involved  
  
AA YOU!  
  
AA *pokes Parallax to see if he's still alive*  
  
Parallax math  
  
AA oh....  
  
AA I see....  
  
AA *pokes Z who immediately gets freaked out and swings at the air with his little daggers* you... do things...  
  
* ZTHI glares  
  
* Jada_Kat looks at ZTHI, "Did you steal my purse?"  
  
ZTHI Me?  
  
ZTHI Steal?  
  
ZTHI You think I would s.. steal?  
  
Jada_Kat you look like a trouble maker..  
  
AA ooooh.... you've done touched a nerve......  
  
ZTHI a....t...troublemaker?  
  
* Jada_Kat studies ZTHI  
  
ZTHI so... you just immediately assume that I was the one to steal your pur... purs... whatever the damn thing was....  
  
Jada_Kat well, it didn't just walk away and sure as hell didn't lose and you're the only one I see here..  
  
ZTHI what about ....  
  
ZTHI HER!  
  
* ZTHI points at lizzy who grins innocently  
  
ZTHI or...  
  
Parallax k, i'm gonna bail guys  
  
ZTHI that guy doing the math,,,  
  
ZTHI yeah... u!  
  
Parallax yeah, me  
  
Parallax later Liz.. and whoever else is in there with you  
  
Jada_Kat nights  
  
AA c ya!  
  
Jada_Kat c-ya in a few  
  
Parallax nighters  
  
*** Signoff: Parallax (Quit: "I mean, if Finestein the Viking wants to get his ass mauled by two guys at once, thats fine by me.. Oh sh*t that came out wrong.." -- Morpheus, ASC Wrestling Alliance)  
  
AA ahem... it is moments like this that that other character z is based on.. starts showing strange wackyness...  
  
ZTHI wacky?  
  
ZTHI that is the worst descriptive word in the english vocabulary!  
  
ZTHI and you use it in a description of mee?  
  
Jada_Kat I think she just did  
  
AA hey hey... calm down... first of all.. I'm surprised you even know what the english vocabulary is... and second...you are not wielding a spork of any kind.. so I can say that word.  
  
ZTHI are you saying I'm ignorant?  
  
Jada_Kat spork?  
  
AA no.. just lack common knowledge... that you can't deny....  
  
AA johnny... when someone called him wacky in the taco place... he attacked everyone there with a "plastic spoon/fork" and it was quoted as being wacky...  
  
* Jada_Kat bows before the spork wielder  
  
Jada_Kat did he get it bloody?  
  
* ZTHI tightens his grip on the knives at the use of that word...  
  
AA uhm.. he disemboweled.. plucked a few eyeballs... uhm.. attacked the roaches in the kitchen....)  
  
AA cops found him in there.. covered in gore.. eating a taco... he then attacked the cops and got away...  
  
Jada_Kat sweetness.. good uses for a spork  
  
* Jada_Kat can think of better but.. those are good  
  
AA mhm.. in a fic.. I had johnny use a straw.. it was funny  
  
* ZTHI grins at the memory that isn't his own.. but for some reason he has trouble remembering this...  
  
*AA smacks Zim upside the head  
  
AA that's not in your character!  
  
AA you don't do these things in the story!  
  
Jada_Kat lol  
  
AA I've written about 20000 words on you and not once have you sat there and claimed things... OR lines of the characters you are based on!  
  
ZTHI oh...  
  
* ZTHI looks upset  
  
ZTHI sorry...  
  
* ZTHI goes and sits in a dark corner... like lizzy used to do waaaay back in the i-man chatroom... loooong ago...  
  
AA DON'T COPY MEEEEEE!!!  
  
ZTHI damn.. okay...  
  
* ZTHI stands back up and walks over to where he was prior...  
  
AA AND I DID IT FOR PURPOSE OF DWINDLING SANITY... besides... there's an alien sticker on the wall... or at least there was in the iman room... and you have to engage it in a staring contest....  
  
ZTHI really?  
  
AA you can't do that tho...  
  
ZTHI why?  
  
AA BECAUSE!  
  
ZTHI because?  
  
ZTHI just because?  
  
AA ....  
  
AA .. yes  
  
And that's that... I haven't even thought about ZTHI in ages, hopefully I can get my brain cells back in working order for long enough to complete this fic. I really hate that I have left it unfinished for so long. C-ya in ficland... 8} 


	18. the end

I EXIST!! And I have plot! Yes, my plotting abilities have returned for this fic! I would like to credit this to my recent purchase of I Feel Sick, it has inspired me on a way to get from point y to z... this is what I have been waiting on and this is what has been delaying the ending of this fic for so long... and without further a dew, I give you...  
  
Zim the Homicidal Irken ... the Ending... (p.s. I think I'm gonna experiment with tenses on thisn' don't get weirded out)  
  
Tak paces back and forth in the main room of her base. Something had been troubling her over the past week or so, and that something was a fuzzy plush toy. The black cat, which she has come to lovingly call Mimi, is beginning to freak her out. It had started out innocent enough. She had pretended that the stuffy was taking back to her, making those one sided conversations seem a little less lonesome. After a while though, the cat had proved to develop a personality all its own and it just wouldn't shut up.  
  
"Mimi!" Tak yells out at the animal. "If you don't be quiet this instant, I will rip the stuffing right out of you!" She looks at the creature's beaded red eyes. It is almost as if the plush is taunting her.  
  
"No! I'm not crazy. It's that homicidal freak that's insane. What was his name; oh right... Zim." Tak listens intently to the toy as it voices an opinion.  
  
"He is not dragging me into his insanity, you are!" The doll is seen, unchanging, just sitting there upon the ground with its glassy cat eyes staring vacantly forward. "You're crazy and you want me to be too but I'm not going to let you get to me!" Tak glares at the stuffy for another moment before marching over to a table and retrieving a piece of paper and a pen. She quickly writes something down on the paper and folds it in half before walking over to the doll and tossing it in its general direction.  
  
"I'm leaving, and I don't care where!" The cat remains unfazed. "Goodbye Mimi!" Tak yells as she slams the front door to her hut loudly. Silence overtakes the house.  
  
  
  
Dib moans as the alien holding him brings the sack upside down, dropping him to a hard flooring. The Boy with the oversized head looks around while trying to right himself.  
  
"Hey, where am I?" he asks as he notices the seemingly sterile environment for which he has been brought to.  
  
"Our ship!" "Isn't it grand?" the two dull-witted aliens say.  
  
"Yeeeeah..." Dib says as he brings himself to his feet. As the realization that he is on an alien ship comes to him, a floating panel comes and situates itself in front of him, revealing his internal organs on its screen.  
  
"Aww, look! This one's missing his brain!" The Fred alien says while pointing at the screen.  
  
"No... no that's his intestines he's missin'" Mary interjects.  
  
"Wow! I'm really on an alien spaceship!" Dib suddenly takes out a concealed camera and begins flashing pictures with the annoying device.  
  
"Foolish earth creature," the alien says, grabbing the camera away from Dib and turning to his comrade. "We'll have to work on this one quickly. Humans can't live long without their tonsil!" Dib quirks a brow while thinking there's something altogether not right about this alien duo.  
  
"Yes! To the testing!"  
  
Zim glares out his window at the nervous park squirrel.  
  
"I hate you" he says flatly. Dirty Chickie looks on with an odd amusement.  
  
"And why would that be Z?(Aah! Question sleep and then go into work for 13 hours straight! It's fun!!)" the devious chicken toy prods.  
  
"Because, you are the embodiment of everything that is keeping me from what I need."  
  
"And what do you need?"  
  
"My sanity" Chickie laughs out right as if this were the most amusing thing he has ever encountered since seeing those two children pummel each other with the others' unattached limbs.  
  
"You're the only one keeping yourself from that goal! I'm your path to sanity. Just succumb to your desires, they will do the rest."  
  
"I'm not following anyone's orders but my own... not anymore." Zim glares at the squirrel as it meets his gaze, staring into his eyes with an unreadable cold expression. Then, as Zim watches, one of the squirrel's pupils suddenly shifts inward... a disturbing lazy eye effect. Zim exhales and forces himself up from his sitting position. He suddenly turns to face Dirty Chickie with a look of desperation on his face.  
  
"I should be as unpredictable and cold as Mr. Scolex out there! I shouldn't be dealing with fookin' emotions!" Moments after the outburst, he lets his gaze fall to the floor. "They're a weakness... that must be eradicated. (at this point I am honestly regretting my decision I made way back on whether Mr. Scolex was going to be a germ or a squirrel ah well...)See that squirrel!" Zim points out the window again. Chickie looks and sees the squirrel, donning its dazed expression and looking around... It's wondering where its walnut went.  
  
"You want to be like that greedy bastard... suit yourself..." Zim glares dangerously.  
  
"Emotionless, Chickie... devoid of attachment... free."  
  
"And you think a squirrel is the embodiment of this...apathy" Chickie chuckles.  
  
(*I bitch at myself now* Z- "Just like Amanda Apathy which is a reference to one of the author of this story's projects that maybe might be seen in a comic one day if it ever gets accepted by a publisher and IF that author ever finishes it enough to get it into a submit able form which, from what I've seen, is highly unlikely to be any time soon!" *Do you see me glaring dangerously right here? And back to the actual story the way it is*)  
  
Zim opens his mouth to respond, but can't seem to find the words so he does the pouty thing and shuts it while glaring.  
  
"I'm going out for a walk!" Zim stomps to the door, taking a final glare at the happy meal toy before shutting the door quite loudly. (wow... Z and Tak's exits seem very similar... I shrug... Zim's being a pouty bitch and won't be original for me right now)  
  
Zim walks down the street, taking a glance at his neighbor's house, for there, floating above it, is what appears to be a gargantuan llama... I kid you not... Zim, being aware of how truly sad that is, walks on. You know those walks that are taken for no particular reason where you just wander off and don't worry about where your going and eventually end up lost in the middle of nowhere where guys take girls when they want to 'you know, you know' and turn into complete idiots and run off the road and end up having their brains eaten by local wildlife? Well, he's taking one of those kinds of walks. (I've got an odd sort of writing style today huh?)  
  
Eventually, this meandering does NOT lead him to that 'happy' place for some teen boys, but to a mall Zim previously didn't know existed. In the doorway is a largely man in a Santa suit. Zim had heard of the Christmas thing over the internet when he first arrived, but that wasn't supposed to happen until December... this is early November right? (the month where I shouldn't have left off)  
  
Quirking a brow, Zim walks into the mall and looks around. This is not a very productive as only a few stores, Hot Topic and the Underground, seem to attract his attention. Also, the crowds this place draws are among the most perturbing on the planet. After his adventure in 'the mall', Zim decides to avoid it at all costs in the future.  
  
Dib looks around hesitantly. At this point in time, there is a curtain rod duct taped to his arm and an empty juice box sitting merely inches from the remainder of the tape roll.  
  
"Now that's enough fusing, I say we throw things at em."  
  
"No, let's poke him with this stick!" Mary holds up a rather pointy looking stick.  
  
"Eueah! Go on then, poke em." Mary pokes away as Fred goes to find a stick with which he can join in on the poking fun. Dib wants to cry for at this point they've applied a layer of tape over his mouth. After about thirty minutes of incessant poking, Fred finally stops, but Mary pokes on.  
  
"Oh, I've got an idea!"  
  
"What is it paw?" Mary exclaims, suddenly stopping in its poking.  
  
"Let's throw things at his head!" Now at this point you must realize that that's a pretty big target indeed. With that said, a gopher is tossed at the boy, hitting him square in the middle of his oversized cranium.  
  
CRB FUN!!!  
  
"Saliva is the Mandate of my premeditated Gesticulations of Tertiary fondlers!" Robot Boy stands proudly upon his box, but this time he is not in a badly drawn park. He is in the court of the Crimson Cow.  
  
"Moo?" states the sultanate steer.  
  
"But I progress... further Is the significance of the Overfed Biceps! They are courtly testicles With Swollen Ivory! Swollen fuckin' Ivory I say! Do Not dispute the Cream Cheese! It is gooey cream cheese, filled with the Lipmeats of a trillion Megalomaniacal Ganglions!"  
  
"Moo" the heifer doth say.  
  
"Emancipation Reticulation Dingy Patron of the Tiki Grotto! Emulate the Egg crate; do so with Butter!"  
  
"Moo" the cow says, but this time in a more perturbed manner.  
  
"The Swiss fondle your Porcupine stingers of Bee less eyespots!" The robot gets in the cows face... "Beef is good with Tupperware asscream?"  
  
"Moo moo moo... moo moo!" The cow king is mooing. A half-dozen gargantuan bulls come bustin' up in the bovine court and drag Crazy Robot Boy out by his little finger.  
  
"My Chloroforms! Give me back my Xerox Polka Gook! I need it or I go Kablam!" At this moment Robot Boy does go kablam... and oh how kablammy. Let's just say... mushroom cloud and t-bone steaks.  
  
BACK TO THE STORY I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FINISHING!!!  
  
Time has passed, and with much time, much walking. This walking has led Zim to that little shady street on which Tak lives. Of course, it takes Zim a moment to realize where he randomly ended up, but the sight of Tak's hut is enough of a hint. Zim would have turned and walked straight home, but curiosity gets the best of him and he walks up to the doorstep for no reason other than to see if maybe Tak is home.  
  
'Maybe she's not still mad' Zim thinks naively as he taps on the door. He waits a respectable amount of time without receiving a reaction of any sort from the house before trying the doorknob. That is a bust; it's locked. 'I hope she's okay.' Zim looks around for another means of entry which proves to be no difficulty. Around the side of her house, is a window that was left partially ajar. It has a stick blocking it from being opened to a certain degree, but those are so easily knocked out of place and Zim soon finds himself inside.  
  
"Tak; are you here?" Zim wanders around for a moment and sees no signs of a hiding occupant so he goes to leave, but sees something out of the corner of his eye. Zim turns to see a folded piece of paper carelessly tossed to the ground. He goes over and picks the note up. It reads...  
  
"I fucking hate you, you fucking glassy eyed thing! *at this point Zim has a confused look on his face* Fuck you and whatever it is your trying to do! I'm leaving and not coming back... and what's more, I left everything behind! So you can go fuck off to your plushy filled fantasy world! *another one of those 'what the fuck' looks from Zim* You'll never be seeing me again! ~Tak"  
  
"Left everything... she's more insane than me!" Zim ponders over Tak's rant of lunacy, thinking he was the intended recipient. This soon leads to him realizing what left everything entails. "She left her ship." A devious grin comes across Zim's face as thoughts of hanging two particularly annoying Irkens on a long wooden pole. This is theft time right here... Zim runs up the stairs of Tak's base and makes his way to the area where her Cruiser is docked. The good thing about earth is that the days aren't particularly long and it is already beginning to get dark outside, making the perfect cover for him to pilot Tak's ship over to his own house.  
  
There is a sense of elation in Zim's stride as he walks down the stairs of his house and into the living room where a confused Dirty Chickie Toy is perched atop the T.V.  
  
"Why are you so happy all of a sudden?" The demented chicken asks. Zim ignores the bird as he goes over to his desk and opens one of the drawers. Inside is a notepad that has previously been unused.  
  
"Z?" (NOTSOSUBLIMINALMESSAGE!!!!) He ignores the fowl, opens the empty tablet to its first page, and begins to write:  
  
"Dear diary thingy that I heard about on the television, hi. I've never written in one of these things before and this might be the last time I do this in a very long time. I just have to get my thoughts down on paper. Seems I can't even die right. Why the fuck I was sent back to this deteriorating life I think I will never know, but at least this time I don't have to paint the damn wall. Mooseboy and Pork are gone, but in their place is Dirty Chickie. He wants me to indulge myself. The flesh is weak; I don't want to give into such primitive desires. I shouldn't have to care so much. I should be as desensitized as the crazy park squirrel. Lately, it seems at though the only voice I'm not hearing is my own. That's why I have to get away. I'm taking Tak's ship and leaving everything else behind. Chickie, Tak, Dib... when and if I come back, I hope it will be under different circumstances. So goodbye, I guess, notepad, Diary..."  
  
Zim looks over the pages he filled up for a moment before closing the pad and replacing it in the desk drawer.  
  
"Now Z... don't do anything rash..." Dirty Chickie says. Zim grins and waves excitedly at the toy as he heads back upstairs.  
  
"Zim... Zim!" The toy tries to yell after him, but he is already out of sight.  
  
  
  
Dib is dropped off completely naked in front of his house with a new line of stitches on his back and the marks of pokey trauma evident. A not so subtle alien device, which turns out to be nothing more than a toaster is duct taped to his head. He hears the sound of what he is sure it jet engines and looks up into the sky, only to see an alien space craft leaving his next door neighbor's house...  
  
Zim is, at this point, out of the earth's atmosphere and is on his way back. As much as he tries to contain his enthusiasm, he can't help but giggle. Soon this giggling gives way to a tumult of eccentric laughter. The camera *that's right... I control the camera angles too now* slowly pans back from its close up of Zim in his uproarious laughter and centers itself to the left of him. There in the dark shadows of the cruiser is a silhouette and two glowing red eyes.  
  
THE ACTUAL END IS HERE!!!!  
  
I'm DONE!! Yay! You can't imagine the tremendous burden that has just been released by me! I am so happy right now! This fic is FINALLY over! Are you all pacified? Good! *does a happy dance while you should be doing the review thing* I smile!  
  
-Luv-  
  
Lizzy733 8} 


End file.
